Life in New Mexico On Base

Life here is so busy, so full, and really overall wonderful!

Our move was challenging, but really good! We'll know on the other side whether our stuff suffered too much, of course, but Part 1 went excellently. 3 (women) packers came at 11am on Thursday (I think they said they'd come at 9). We always get a man for the garage, so I was unhappy about that. Now, the thing is, you're committed to being around as long as they are. So with so few people, and such a late start, I knew it would be a long day. Just not so long as it turned out, which was after 11pm. As it turned out, Elyana got to sleep in her own crib, since the packers didn't disassemble it. The movers called Friday to tell us they weren't going to come until 2pm. As it turned out, it wasn't until after 7pm! There were 5 guys, working hard, but the house couldn't stay cool, so I couldn't put Elyana to bed until they were done (after 11pm). She and I went and visited three neighborhood friends, and she got just silly and wild with being overtired. It was so funny! She did finally sleep in her peapod. Over the next 4 days, we worked on getting the house cleaned, fixed up, and completely ready to rent. As it was, we got a renter that wanted to move in two days after we moved out! Utterly amazing and more than we could have asked for, or deserved. We took photos of the house Wednesday morning after getting it completely vacated, and after 3 1/2 years, it really looked brand new still!

Our Road Trip Out West consisted of 5 days of driving.

Day 1 - GA to New Orleans, LA - 8 1/2 hours without stops. Utterly perfect. Elyana slept like a champ, played wonderfully as well. We split the driving a little, gained an hour as well. Arrived before dinner into a fabulous hotel! Went out for amazing seafood at Red Fish Grill (Rum Flamed Shrimp!), then walked around NOLA, down to a park on the water. Jonathan bought me a beautiful carnival mask and Elyana a teddy bear she's in love with.

Day 2 - Elyana woke up at 4:30am ready to go! She wanted to see the ceramic blue cows in the lobby. So she and I went down to play and get a Starbucks breakfast together until Jonathan woke. I got my coffee, she got milk and an apple bran muffin. She played so well! By the time he got up, and we got packed, we were on the road headed to Surrey Cafe for Bananas Foster French Toast and Nova Lox. Alas, we got there at 7:15 (as Elyana was ready to doze off), and they didn't open til 8. Jonathan wanted to get on the road, I knew E wouldn't last, so we headed instead to Cafe du Monde for beignets and cafe au lait. Really were good and a great start to the day. Elyana did perfect again, so happy.We arrived in San Antonio around 6 at our dear friend's the Ortiz's house. Had dinner, the kids played so well, and everyone got a great night's sleep.

Day 3 - Just fun! We played at the park, went swimming, played tons of games inside, and the children enjoyed one another so much (Elyana (19mos) and Eliza(4) especially got along). That night we also got to go to Alamo Cafe with our old LifeGroup leader/family where were treated and, again, had such a great time! The whole day could NOT have been more perfect. All the fellowship was so sweet!

Day 4 - Started the day with my friend R's homemade Huckleberry Scones - with fresh picked huckleberries all the way from Spokane! Left San Antonio around lunchtime, with a visit to Rudy's on the way out. Drove 5 hours to Pecos,TX. Elyana, again, just a dream-baby. Arrived, unpacked, and went swimming to cool off! We all had so much fun, and it was a great way to relax after the drive. Had some local Mexican, played in the room, and then bed.

Day 5 - Only 5 hours left to Holloman AFB, NM. Turned out to be good, because about 1-2 hours from the base, Elyana was done in the car. I'd not done a good job planning the morning, and we'd left right after breakfast. So all total, she did not get much "run-around" time. I'd usually give her 3 hours awake before heading out to drive, as well as plenty of exercise. I hadn't, so she would not sleep in the car, thus the boredom 3-4 hours into the drive. Still, she was good, the drive was good, and Jonathan and I were pages away from finishing the book we'd been reading aloud the last few days, David Livingstone: Man of Prayer and Action (riveting). We arrived, another hour gained, got set up, unpacked, and went to the store for food.

The TLF is just one bedroom/one bathroom, but it's enough room for us, since we rearranged some things.

Our days here have been so happy and full. I'll update in a few days with what they look like.

Elyana as well is just blossoming in every area. She has mastered over 100 words, with new ones daily! Her pronunciation is very good. She is very compliant and obedient (parents often remark how much of a good listener she is). She has clear ideas of what she likes to do and eat, read or sleep with. She will respond when we ask her to give a cheerful face and happy heart. So much that she does just steals our heart. She is more precious every day, and really amazes us with her intelligence. We are a very happy little family right now!

IVF #1 - Retrieval!

Retrieval was this morning at 10:15. Showed up at 7:30 & did some prep. I was totallly awake for it, remember everything (which I liked)! Mildly painful, right now I'm pretty comfortable resting at home with Jonathan (with Dunkin Donuts he got me!). They got 17 eggs!!!!! We are so blessed and happy at the news, and I'm especially delighted to feel so good. THANK YOU for all your prayers, they have been answered and have meant so much to both of us!

We'll receive a fertilization report tomorrow. More update then.

IVF #1 - 6 Days of Meds - Ultrasound #3

My newest update contains info from yesterday's appt. Today I start a new med, Gani.rilex. I'd go into what it does, but it's too technical to matter. I get seen again Sunday, and Jonathan comes in tomorrow. We were finally able to get him cleared to miss a week's worth of training (if needed). That was a huge relief. So, now:

Thursday Scan, Day 7 on meds (scans before 7th dose)
Left: 5 at 10mm, 3 at 11mm, 2 at 12mm, 4 less than 10mm (14 total)
Right: 2 at 12mm, 1 at 11mm, 1 at 10mm, few less than 10mm (4+ total)
Lining: 12.1

Perhaps when we go in Sunday that'll be trigger day. If it isn't, I'll come in Monday & every day until the time, I think. Retrieval is 36 hours after trigger, I think.

Yesterday was a tough day emotionally and physically. The waiting and being without Jonathan has been tough. In addition to that, I've had a dear friend go through a terrible loss and I've felt it greatly. And another situation came up today that was devastating. I've never had so much hit in a week. I have been crying all day and personally grieving so many things. I don't know what God is doing, but I feel numb at it all right now.

Not to end on that note, I'm enjoying time with my old San Antonio friends. Tubing trip tomorrow and coffee w/my old LG leader's wife Tues. Those will be great for catch-up. I'll update after my Sun appt - Jonathan & I get to go to our old church! We're so glad!

Thank you ALL for checking in often, for your comments, prayers, and encouragement! They are a Lifesaver to my heart.

IVF Update #1

So, after a wonderful weekend with the Freas family in GA, I got back to San Antonio Monday night!

I'd flown from GA to TX on Wed for a Thurs appt, and planned on flying back Thurs afternoon after the appt, & returning Mon night to TX for the Tuesday morn next appt. Then I'd stay here 2 weeks or whatever it takes for stims, ER, ET, and any further follow-up. 2 trips aren't as cost-effective, but I'm already going to be apart from my husband a long time as it is, and we'd planned on having the Freas for Labor Day Weekend! We agreed this schedule was worth the cost/hassle. And if something forced me to stay in TX longer, I'd stay because of course IVF comes first. That was our mindset.

So Thurs (Appt #1, Baseline Date!) I got to WH at 5:30, but found the lab no longer keeps the tickets outside! So I have to try to get my ultrasound number and then hope I don't get a bad nubmer at the lab (it's a huge hassle & lots of people lining up). :( Bleh. I didn't know which doc I'd get for ultrasound, but I got my fav, very wonderful for this particular day!!! Mostly because I had a cyst, big enough to be on the border of needing draining (from the supression meds I'd been on prior to IVF). The dr was so nice. He was doing the ultrasound, and started on the right, looked around a few seconds, and then mumbled a concerned, "Oh Sweetheart, what's this?" He told me the cyst was small enough I might be able to proceed, but when my blood levels came back that would tell whether or not I needed it drained. He said he would call. He usually gives the feeling that I can take all the time I need to ask questions, but he seemed hurried today. I understood, IVF there is busy.

Typically I'd have told him I was trying to fly out back to GA later that day, but I wasn't sure they exactly liked me not being driving-distance from the clinic - even though they didn't want to see me again until Tues morning. So I told him if it needed draining no problem. I had to stick around until 10 for the injections/meds class anyway, and figured he would call anytime. Apparently he had a meeting and wasn't even around to ask personally then (and my blood had been ready since 7 that morning!). I assumed his latency in calling must have meant things were ok. So I proceeded to get a ride to the airport to catch my 1:10 flight (my friend's dad had set aside his whole morning to take me when I was ready). I arrived there and sat at my gate. I did want to make it home on the original plan, but was not wanting to leave the city w/o his call. Sure enough, 12:30ish, he calls and tells me the cyst needs draining. I told him I'd be there ASAP. A catch: he wanted me to take valium/percoset for the procedure, as it can be painful. This would prohibit me from driving myself back to the airport. I told him I preferred no meds so I could drive myself... & he ok'ed it (His words: "If you want to Civil War Style it, you can.") I grabbed the quickest rental car I could get (cheaper than a taxi, I checked) and headed back to WH. I had called J & we prayed. I felt such peace about everything that was happening. Not worried about getting to GA that night, not scared about the procedure, not upset. Just peace. Even the gate agent kindly switched my flight to a later one.

I got to WH and was seen immediately. They were all a little amused at my desire for no meds, but got right down to business. My doc told me, "You know this room, I met you here." It was the same for my hysteroscopy last Oct. How on earth does a doctor remember when & where they met you? (See why I love him? I'm not a number and a chart, I'm a person.) The whole thing was over in about 30 minutes and was actually not very painful. (I was later commended for my behavior as better than women on meds!) And a bonus from getting the cyst aspiration: that procedure is the exact same as the IVF Retrieval. That's the only part I was nervous about on this whole IVF (everything else I've experienced before). Now, I've experienced that too, so nothing to be nervous about.

I got back to GA late that night with a 3+ hour delay, but I was home! We had the entire weekend to spend w/the Freas family & every day we lived it out to the max with fun, fun, fun!!! (Pics later)

This morn, Appt #2 was fast. Even though I arrived at 5:30a I was #2... by the time all the ladies arrived for scans, there were about 20; it was ridiculous! I'm so glad I went early, that would have been such a hassle waiting around. Was in & out in like 3 minutes & got an ok doc. I think he was impressed I didn't seem anxious/worried or have tons of questions (that'll come later!).

So, Tuesday's scan, after 4 days of meds (150iu Follistim in am, 15cc HCG in pm) revealed:
Left: 12 less than 10mm, largest 7.8
Right: 10.2, 12.1 and 4 (not sure I heard right on that?) less than 10mm,
Lining: 6.7

My left has always outgrown my right, but whatever. After my labs came back, they called & told me tomorrow take my Follistim down to 125iu. Guess my E2 is a bit high. No prob since they give me a pre-mixed "pen" for injecting any amount, rather than mixing my doses & such. My stomach is a bit sore around the injection sites, because I've done 2 on my right and 8 on my left - beacuse the 1st HCG on the right bruised badly! The soreness makes it hard to pinch the skin for the injection. :/

I scheduled my 1st IVF Acupuncture. I'll have 5 appts, the first will be 5-9 days pre-retrieval. Statistically, even though it can't be explained, Acupuncture increases pregnancy rates w/ IVF.

Overall, though, I realized upon pondering Thursday's events, I'm not sure I've ever had just one thing after another go so smoothly and so much peace surround my spirit when it's not the perfect way we hope. I don't think a lack of problems grows my faith as much as God's provision when problems arise. I know the Lord is answering prayer. I know I can be level-headed often, but last time this happened (in April, for a much less important procedure) I was so distraught! I felt kicked around and left bruised by it all, and mostly I felt alone. This was different. I KNOW it is because there are so many people praying for us and the Lord is showing me by exposing my needs He is meeting them in answered prayer for so many. That's a great thought.

I go in this Thurs & pray I can get some idea when Jonathan needs to be out here. I'd ask all you wonderful friends to PLEASE keep praying for the Lord's grace, providence, direction and peace every day. Pray for Jonathan & my hearts to walk through this with true faith in God's unchanging Character.

Last Update Before San Antonio!

So.... this will be my last update until I'm settled into San Antonio. I go there this Wednesday/Thursday, and then come back to spend Labor Day weekend with my husband and the Freas. I then leave out Monday afternoon Sept 3 until Sept 18th! I cannot comprehend being away from Jonathan that long. Sure we've gone it, but not happily! I know he'll be there for 2 days minimum (4 max?) in the middle/end of that time, but it's odd me being the one initiating leaving. I am accusom to the military sending him away!

Once I arrive in San Antonio on the 3rd, I'll being every 2-3 day trips into the doctors there, and I'll be updating this site with interesting news I get. Specifically, when we get dates for Retrieval and Transfer I'll post those. Those are very important days!!! I am so grateful to be in a city with doctors I know (and like) and to be surrounded by dear friends. I am already making plans for Starbucks trips, tubing trips, sushi, lots of authentic Mexican, RiverWalk time, all that lovely San Antonio life with dear people!

I would ask for prayer that we can see God's plan unfolding, that we'd experience grace for any good or bad that comes our way, that we realize and can proclaim (with our lives) the glory of God, and that we find Joy. True Joy is not to be found apart from Christ. Lewis said, "The very nature of Joy makes nonsense of our common distinction between having and wanting." True joy is not found in achieving pregnancy or having a child of our own - that is just a shadow of the real Joy. They are the "Island in the West" (a nod to Pilgrim's Regress) leading us to search out the fountain of Joy - Christ!

So for now we wait, some more. I'm happy to receive phone calls/emails wile I'm in Texas too, don't be afraid of disturbing me!

I'll close with a picture of us from our Florida trip. We LOVED it! Our time was just so wonderfully restful and fun!!! Tons of beach time, great seafood every day, and our final day (Sunday) we booked a 4 hour deep-sea fishing trip! It was super exciting and we caught a bunch of red snapper (6-8 worth keeping, bunches of more smaller) and Jonathan got a King Mackrel! They put up a great fight and when you gaff it & pull it up to the boat, it kicks around and blood spurts everywhere: it's so thrilling! That trip was well worth it and so now not only do we have a great trip in our memories, we have fish in the freezer. :) I forgot my camera the fishing trip, but they would have made great pics! Here is us on the beach though!

Ponderings.... & News

Knowing that God is sovereign doesn’t mean we must have dry eyes and respond with passivity to prove we have faith. It means we rest in the assurance that He’s in control, despite our pain. As a sovereign and good God, He is not taken by surprise when his children suffer. Rather than be thwarted, his purposes advance through our suffering. Therein lies the tension, though. God is all-loving, yet he allows this pain; God is all-powerful, yet he doesn’t take away the hurt. So we ask: Is God good and will I trust Him? These are the most important questions we can ask and answer on the infertility journey."

So this quote is very specific and it's not deeply thought-provoking in the way C.S. Lewis's quotes are, but it's True. I think the root of most people's hardship with their particular form of trials/suffering is the question of God's goodness and intentions [for us]. Having faced trials in the past, we can (with assurance) say that God is Good and His intentions are for our sanctification and His glory. Whether our sanctification is His chastisement for sin in our lives, or just pruning areas of lesser fruit out, we are being transformed into the image of His Son.

I've been reading a book particular to our unique situation and I've come away with a lot of good quotes for my benefit. I've also come away realizing that I'm not such an anomaly, what I experience on a day to day basis in my spiritual life, marriage, friendships, and family relaitonships is quite common, even in the Bible! With that said...

We have news. Ever since moving we've been trying to continue protocols at the clinic back in San Antonio. Our 6 months away from there has yielded only one trip. We've been waiting for the next opportunity, which looked like July or August (due to Jonathan's training schedule). Since we moved, we've been on the waiting list for the IVF program there, and had a spot in April 2008. Until then, we'd continue the treatments available. Now though, we were just offered a spot in the Aug/Sep 2007 cycle - yes, this summer! Shocked and astounded are the words to describe my feelings. For many days now I've wrestled with even sharing that we're proceeding with IVF. This is an issue most Christians know little about, may not personally know anyone who's been through it, may be misinformed concerning it, and perhaps hold opinions/convictions against it.

I didn't want people's judgement and I personally desired to maintain our privacy (what's left of it!). And yet, there's fear of man as a motivation in there (as Meghan graciously noted!). Then Jonathan and I talked and he pointed out that if we're really doing this with lots of prayer and counsel, and faith that it's ethical and right (with convictions on certain factors), then why should we not tell? Don't Christians need to know? Should not we testify? So, no good reasons for not sharing.

Until I walked through IF, I had no idea how many women in the church were walking that same path. It was only when one person opened up that a host of others would too. And how many of those cute children running around that were Clomid, IUI, of IVF babies!

However, please know that my heart is saddened that we're here, facing this. As much as all the repeated failed treatments had me wanting IVF, now that it's here it's gut-wrenching. It is said that "infertility is the gradual death of a dream. An unsuccessful attempt to have a child is really a loss within a loss. An infertility patient experiences a monthly cycle of hope and despair that falls within the much longer grieving process." How true! Instead of romantic lighting and gentle moments, we'll have a cold, sterile environment with a room full of doctors while I'm "consciously sedated". And yet, we are excited and full of faith that this next step is one God wants us to take. We're excited because on our own we've yet to achieve anything: this could very well work! Don't misunderstand: it is God who will determine the outcome. No one can force an embryo into existance, and no one can implant it in the uterus and produce a pregnancy. All they can do is help guide the process along. The success rate for IVF is about 50%, depending on your diagnosis. We're unexplained, so that's a big unknown.

So for now, we pray, get counsel, answer some tough questions, prepare, write our check, and wait to buy tickets for the time we're told. Oh - and for fun we get blood drawn! :)

Back Home

Safely Home! Claudia - THANK YOU for commenting!!!!! I want to hear all about your trip!

The "funny" part of arriving at the airport Saturday morning was we saw long lines coming out of terminal 2 and it was due to terminal 1 being closed due to a bomb threat/scare! I'm tellin' ya people, don't we pick the days to travel? I made my flights, but Jonathan's was delayed so he missed his connection in Houston, so he arrived 1 1/2 hours later than me in Atlanta. Not a problem for either of us, when you're headed home time isn't of the essense. We don't usually travel separate, but I was on a FF ticket, and we booked the cheapest we could for him.

After the rough start, the rest of my week in San Antonio went smashingly. The more I see my doctor there, the more I thank God he's so diligent, caring, and helpful. Everything really went as perfectly as it could. The outcome is in God's hands, but at least I'm leaving with absolutely no regrets or second thoughts about how everything went.

Our friends we stayed with were awesome! I got to babysit their 14 month old for their anniversary dinner, we all went out for dinner on the Riverwalk another night, and each day Rebecca and I got tons of time for spiritual, personal, and fun conversations. We even took a trip to Starbucks with the little gal!

Now I thought I'd post some sweet pics over the past few week's events. How I love visiting family and friends.

Here's the cutie I got to play with every day!


This was Catherine and me at a pecan grove when the Wilsons visited

The cutest and smartest 2 year old ever! & I'm not too biased!

The Graduates!!!! (in May)

And this little girl will be 1 in less than a month! She's sooo pretty!

Mary's diligently showing her moves!

Texas Update

Well, I said I'd update so here I'm keeping my promise. I honestly didn't have time or even ability to write until this moment. A really good cry and a talk with my sister Mary allowed me to finally write this without a lot of pent up frustration and hurt.

My flight out was a literal nightmare. I had a 5:00 flight from Greensboro to Atlanta. It was to arrive at 6:00 in ATL with a connecting 8:30 takeoff for San Antonio. As I checked in, I was told the flight from Atlanta was delayed by an hour from mechanical problems. A sinking feeling overcame me as I feared I wasn't being told the possible "worst case" scenario. Foolishly, I sat and waited, believing them. At around 7:30 I was told we would be even later, totally missing my flight to San Antonio, the last of the night! I frantically talked to ticket agents (& got sweet Jonathan & Mary to look for possible flights elsewhere). I prompted them to look for flights out of RDU, CLT, GSO or even ATL (I said I'd drive there - and the ticket agent replied, "You're that desperate?" to which I emphatically agreed). I had them look at ones going into San Antonio or Austin (an hour away). I wasn't given any hope for that night, but there was a flight leaving at 8:00 the next morning from Atlanta going to San Antonio. It was booked, as was the 10:00 but they said I could do standby. The best I got was a 12:00 arriving at 1:30. Understand, I had a 10:30 appointment at a very busy hospital where rescheduling might be out of the question. And missing it might mean canceling the rest of the treatment/plan. I knew if I could just get internet or someone to help me I could probably find my own solution. But my cell was dieing and we'd stupidly left the charger in GA. And a windstorm in NC knocked the power off. Plus, apparently you can't search for flights that leave in > 4 hours.

I finally arrived in Atlanta at 10:00 with the SAT plane already gone. An Austin flight was leaving at 10:30 but the unhelpful agents refused to let me try. The told me it was full, but I seriously doubt it! I should have pushed. I regret not pushing. Resigned to sleeping in ATL, I went to get my hotel voucher so at least I didn't have to fork out the money. Guess what? Yep, they're out. Only after 1 1/2 hours (not exaggerating) in line. At that point I didn't care. I forked out $200 for 3 hours of sleep and a shower. No chance on getting my suitcase, so I made due with what I could get. I went to bed at 1:30 and awoke before my alarm at 4:30. I headed to the airport to sandby for the 8:00 flight. As I get into the terminal I checked the gate and read "8:00 SAT CANCELED." I couldn't freakin believe my luck! Surely the 10:00 will be full to the brim with this! My dead cell caused me to buy a $30 charger to be able to call the doctor and cancel the appointment and ask nicely if anything else was available. I finally got the first food I'd had in 13 hours - a Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte - and sat to try to get internet. I then saw there was an 8:30 into Austin, arriving 10am! I tried to get the boarding ladies to let me stand by, but they insisted it was full and they couldn't change my arrival city. Sent to another counter, I begged that lady to help. She at first gave me the company line about being full and not being able to change my city. But after tearful pleading (I'd all-out unashamedly cried multiple times all throughout the airport the last 13 hours), she wonderfully got me a seat on that flight! Not standby, a seat!

Thrilled, I tried to change the rental car arrangements. The price was more than double! I wasn't in a position to negotiate. We took off at the time planned and arrived beautifully. I got my car and wept I was so glad to see Texas soil! My luggage wasn't around (understandably, it was in SAT). I drove to San Antonio and it flew by. I actually stopped quickly and bought new clothes, just so I wasn't so haggard. The doctor kindly called me and said they'd fit me in where they could. I finally made it there and headed to the clinic. I parked quicker than I ever have, except at 5:00am. There was a line of 7-8 ladies just to check in the clinic! My doctor appeared from behind a door and told me to come on back, probably really irritating all those waiting ladies! Once in the office, I couldn't believe the nightmare was over. I kept waiting for something awful to happen. But I was there. I was getting my ultrasound, and things looked good. There were no problems. I could breathe.

I think it took until now to actually release all my anger over everything I went though. Yes, it wasn't that awful in retrospect and yes, everything worked out fine. Anger isn't godly and I should have done better. But I didn't, and I'm dealing with it now and asking God to work the kind of patience and trust in me that I don't take such bumps so seriously. But I'm being honest.

Tonight, I gave myself my first IM (intra-muscular) shot. I did awesome, thank God for mirrors so I could do it! It was so easy. Even though the 1.25 inch needle looked scary, it wasn't. The sub-q inejctions were good preparation. I've posted a pic of my drugs, the IM needle, and me shooting up with the sub-q (no IM pics, it's a butt shot). I had to give myself a sub-q in the car on the way to the airport, for fear of having it confiscated from my carry-on luggage! I'm a pro now. I think Jonathan will be really glad to know in the future, I'll handle my own shots. But I'm glad he got to do it and understands what it's like.

I'll update with more fun news at week's end. Hopefully something fun in San Antonio is awaiting me, like a RiverWalk trip!

My drugs.... Well, one day's worth.

My sub-q shot

My IM needle

Well.... tomorrow we're headed out for an exciting whirwind visit around.

Frist, we'll drive to Charlotte and stay with the McMahons Thursday night! We haven't seen them since we moved, which seems like forever ago! We always have great food and fellowship so I'm really looking forward to that! Especially with Jennifer, aka Ryan's fiancee, now a part of the clan! We may hop over the next morning to see the Freas' while we wait for Christopher to get out of his last class... How come right before the Wilson boys head off to college 2 hours from home they get in serious relationships where all they want to do it get home on the weekend (yet they have no car)? *laughs* It's ironic, Jonathan and I did the same thing! Anyway...

Then we drive back to Milton! I get two lovely days with my family and everyone's suppose to be around. Not only that, but it won't be one of those super-busy weekends where J & I are one of about 10 people visiting. It's just us. How nice! Mary and I are intent on getting some good girl-coffee time! And I have a little present I think Suzanne will like (especially since it's from Starbucks). :)

Then, Sunday I head to Greensboro to fly to San Antonio! I'm super excited about that, although understandably cautiously optimistic. I'll be staying with my best friend there and when Jonathan flys in Wednesday so will he. We fly back to Atlanta Saturday.

Yep, I'm headed to San Antonio to WHMC. I've had my blood drawn and sent over to them (a fiasco in itself) and I'm good to go. The next protocol for them to attempt is combined drugs this time - Clomid and Gonal-F for those interested. Clomid is oral and Gonal-F is the nice sub-q injection I'll be doing. I'm nervously excited. Nervous since I've had little practice purposely stuck myself with a needle. To be precise, it's the injecting that I'm worried about (some say it stings), but not the needle insertion. Excited, because every step further along means perhaps a better chance this time. Now I understand the doctors and chance do not make the outcome what it is - it's ultimately in the hand of the Lord no matter what. What outwardly doesn't look like success will be if Christ has been cherished and faith (in His character and intentions) held onto.

Of course, there is always the overhanging risk of being canceled after all the time, effort, and finances spent on giving it a go. It's called overstimulating, and simply put they don't want someone ending up pregnant with "high order multiples" (i.e. more than twins), so if this risk looks real, you're canceled. Over and over the doctor has explained this to me as we've planned this ever since our December move. I always voiced understanding/compliance, but now with the money spent and plans in motion, the real possibility weighs on me. Again, a matter to rest in the Omnipotent Lord's hands. We walk through this trusting His leading.

So... I'll bring my computer and post updates from San Antonio, as I'm going to try to visit with my dear friends and not work too much. :) Can't wait to go to the RiverWalk again, too. Jonathan and I will do that one day.

See some of you soon!

Quick Update

Sorry no updates lately. Since we moved out of our home in TX on Dec 15th we're flown to NC, spent a few hurried weeks there, flew back to TX, closed things out there, drove to GA, found a house (looked at 20 something), drove to Charlotte, stayed a few days, drove up near Asheville in the mountains to visit Jonathan's grandparents, drove back to our families' homes, and I'm about to stay here for 2 1/2 weeks while Jonathan's in Washington state for survival school. Now that it's 2 days away I'm having some feelings of real anxiety and sadness. I hate being apart even for a night. The longest we've been away since his 29 day field training (our 3rd month of marriage back in July '04) was 7 days this past November when I was in Oxford. I'm going to miss him so badly! But just so I won't cry here, I won't say any more. Except that the next few weeks will be the times to get together with you NC girls!
Pictures of the house later. Stories and such. I haven't been on the computer much at all lately, sorry for no comments anywhere. I have been trying to read all the updates.
Give me a call or email for anyone wo wants to set up a definite date from Jan 17-28.

Moving!

Orders came in Monday.... Packers come Thursday... Moving Friday! Must clean empty house & professionally clean carpets Friday.... & get ride to airport. (We're flying home for Christmas, & flying back to outprocess here, then drive to GA.)
Jonathan graduates Navigator school Friday, and I get to pin his wings on! I'm so proud of him!
It all came so fast!
Crystal is here, but she got the flu and has been so sick today. I hate it, I feel so sorry for her! She flys out Thursday morning.
Won't be on much in the next few days! See you NC'ers soon!

Out in West Texas Hunting

Well.... no axis deer for me this week, although we saw many of them. We didn't really go hunt, just sort of drove around trying to "spot and stalk", but more just spending time with our friends. I think next time we'll actually go out in a stand and really hunt. It was very nice to be out in the country again!!! Although I got my share of experiencing what being poked by a cactus feels like! Still not seen a rattlesnake. I'm determined to see one before we move!
I was using a borrowed gun, so Jonathan took me out to the range. I had 3 bullets. I shot the 50 yd target on the bottom right bullseye, and the 100 twice on the bullseye. I was very happy (as was Jonathan)! And then I shot Jana's 40lb bow and got the bulleye 3 times in a row! The shock of it is, I believe I am a really bad shot! When we went skeet shooting (for me to practice on my new shotgun, not for fun, because I think skeet is booooring!), I only got 2 out of 50!!! That's how awful I was! So I was really shocked I did well, because I don't have stellar vision and I don't think I'm very calm about following through a shot.

Anyway.... One sad thing that happened was our friends' little 2 year old girl tripped and fell into the hot, hot charcoal grill. She burned her face and both hands/wrists. She had a big blistered spot on one wrist. She spend the evening in agony, just crying and writhing, because there wasn't much to do for the pain. Everyone felt really sorry for her, but by the next morning, praise the Lord, she was mostly better. :/

We had a couple and their 7 month old over for dinner last night (a new addition to our Life Group). It was such a great time and ended too soon! Even though they've been with the church since it's beginning, they were both military and their small group was, so everyone moved! They were left without a group, and ours was located close. From last night, we saw that the Lord had lead them to ours for very special reasons, with them having been through some things over the years that Jonathan and I are experiencing. It just turned into such an encouraging evening, seeing God's providential leading. So I'm encouraged in my spirit knowing our relationship with them is meant to grow, and thinking how much I can learn from Rebecca (the wife).

Anyway.... I close with a really cute picture of my first niece. I miss her so much!

Scorpions!

Saturday morning we were heading out to put our boat back in the marina at Corpus Christi. Jonathan was out filling up and I was getting all the stuff ready. I had the laptop case out of the closet, and was packing up the computer. Just as I was putting away the power cable, my left arm was resting on the case, and I felt a stinging sensation. I looked down and saw..... a scorpion!!! (pictured below) I threw the case and ran outside, shaking and crying, "Ugh!" I called Jonathan and he rushed home.... When he tried to find the place I'd been stung, he couldn't. He told me I'd know it if I were. So I guess I was just "pinched" or something. I felt bad he was so worried, although he's been stung before and didn't react too horribly. Now I'm worried to sleep, Mrs. C!!!

Later that morning, while we were on the beach, Jonathan caught this! A sting ray! I had to use a bucket to hold it stilll while Jonathan got his rig off! I was pretty freaked out.

Then later, I got stung by a jelly-fish and saw a huge cockroach in the bathroom! It was not my day for animals! Still and all, we had such a marvelous time at the beach, sunning, fishing, reading, and playing in the surf with each other. We found a delicious seafood restaurant nearby, and then had a comfortable night on the boat with the music of the waves lapping against the boat's side.

Here's a picture of the sunrise before we left....

Now, good night to all!

Suzanne's Visit, Hunting, etc

Wow! What a wonderful weekend we had! Friday we went dove hunting and Jonathan got 4. I also saw a huge banana spider! :/ It looked Huge!!!! I'd say 4 inches worth of legspan at least! Saturday we spend the morning lazily and then went out in the early afternoon to a place for Jonathan to get a drill press and some cool tools, and then to the mall for me to spend some money. I got some kimono-style shirts at Wet Seal. I love that look! Especially with chopsticks in my hair, a necklace with a boldly-colored large-gem necklace, and some trim jeans or black pants, and of course red lipstick. Love that look! It just ties together. Got some things at Bath & Body Works, and used some of the Starbucks card my sweet sister Mary gave me!!!!! The Pumpkin Spice Latte is back, and I'm so glad. I've had 3 since I found that out 2 weeks ago.

Then that evening we went out to the country to help a friend in Care Group for a Christian Outdoor Alliance dove hunt. We weren't paying $75 to hunt, but we wanted to help out. There were some newbies out there that shot pigeons or sparrows, and missed some really obvious doves, but it was a lot of fun. Especially to get clean and pick up a Papa John's pizza and snuggle through Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. :)

Sunday we had church and then again went out hunting that evening. This time I got 2 doves!!! My first ever! I got them two in a row! My average was much better than on the skeet range (thank goodness, I think skeet is boring!). Jonathan got 6. Well, 7, but we couldn't find one. It was so much fun to hunt together. I can now tell a swallow's flight from a doves's quite easily. :) When we headed home we cleaned up and then fixed a super-duper meal. Dove, sauteed in thyme, marjoram and butter, broccoli, rosemary bread, and rice. Getting clean after all that time out was so refreshing.

On Monday we headed to Government Canyon for our hike. We ended up hiking 6 miles, and drinking 3 liters of water between us. Exactly what we brought. We crossed the trailhead with a few swigs left. We had a great time hiking and exerting ourselves and sharing wonderful conversation, jokes, and everything in between! We kept a very good pace. Jonathan told me he never realized I'd be a outdoors girl... He thought (feared) I'd just want to spend vacation days like this at the mall!!!! I love that I'm not that way, and we can share the same loves! Ourdoors are such a great adventure together.

Here are some fun pics from this weekend. And some from my dear sister Suzanne's visit.

Loving Married Life!

So we've been having fun lately, so many good times with my bestest friend. :) I'm getting very excited about our Labor Day weekend get-away down to Corpus Christi on our newly-fixed boat. Don't know where we'll venture out to, but we're sure to get quality-time together and some delicious seafood. Perhaps we'll even catch something worthy of adorning our dinner plates. No matter what, it'll be an adventure. That's what we love best. Our Grand Adventure is what I sometimes refer to our marriage as, which seems fitting.

Jonathan had a test yesterday on top secret weapons and defenses the US military has... He did wonderfully! He was so diligent in his studying, going in early most mornings (6:30 when show-time was 9), and also going in on the weekend. He is such an example of a hard worker and serious student. I love watching him in that role... I guess that's something I've watched since before our marriage.

My sister Suzanne flys in later today! She used her hard-earned money to buy a ticket out here to visit me! I've planned many fun outings and two craft-like projects for us together. We of course plan on going to Starbucks every single day! Just like I did when Mary was here.... except she refused it one day. :( So we broke our record. BTW, if you reload a Starbucks card online from a Visa with $50 or set it up for (any amount) of automatic reload, you get $10 extra put on your card. 3 cards per household. That's $30. Our monthly Starbucks budget. You betcha I'll cash in!

Nothing more here, except I got a beautiful present from Seth & Karen in the mail, it's a dresser with these gorgrous coffee-pictures painted on it. I'll post a pic soon. I moved all my coffee stuff in there where it sits in my kitchen looking beautiful. More later! Here's a pic of us on our trip to Dallas.

SCUBA Certified!

This one's for Mrs. C..... That was after my last dive, after I was officially certified! We didn't really think to take pics while we had our gear on. In this pic Jonathan had surfaced about 5 minutes before I had, as he ran out of air faster. :)

When we got down to 60 feet it got COOOOLD! The lake was 82 degrees, but down there it felt like mid-60's! Jonathan said it may have been upper 60's. I was shivering (bad for a diver) and was a bit worried/scared about going further into that murky coldness! Other than that, SCUBA is a lot of fun and I'm excited about all my future dives!

Busy Friday.... Jonathan has a night flight, but he's home now! Gotta love that! 3 SCUBA dives tomorrow, 2 Sunday. I'm going to be exhausted! Exhausted, but certified. :)

SCUBA and Life

So, ever since getting back from NC for the Independence Day celebration, life has seemed extremely busy. Even now I feel tired... or is it sleepy? After getting into a routine of getting up at 6ish every morning, I learned I loved that and had plenty of energy and time to get things done in the day, if I ordered my day. However, I also learned that I really do not like getting up in the 5's! It leaves me lethargic/tired in the morning and I don't know that I catch up. Does anyone feel like that? It's very consistent.
This past Saturday we went with 7 Air Force friends (2 couples, a 3 year old, and a single guy) to Canyon Lake on our boat. Everything turned out different than planned, but suffice it to say we ended up caught in a huge downpour with our just-finished-cooking charcoal brats being gathered together into cups (in the rain) and eaten out of paper towels in our respective cars as we soakingly drove back! We all laughed a lot about it and had a jolly ride home.
Right now I'm taking 2.5 hours of SCUBA diving classes M-Th each night for 2 weeks. We alternate between classroom time and pool time. Since I've dove once, I've been very familiar with what's been taught so far. I'll be excited to get NAUI certified and be able to go out diving with Jonathan whenever we desire. With this completed, I can look to my next goal: my pilot's license. It won't be here, but perhaps our next station. :) Imaigne, being able to trod on earth, swim under the sea, and fly in the air! God's creation is amazing to behold!
I'll be glad for Friday and the weekend, since I don't have much evening time with Jonathan at the present, because of my classes. Fortunately he has early mornings every day this week, meaning he gets home early afternoon!
BTW, to everyone who made time to see us while we were back, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! It was an amazing blessing and so much fun! Your friendships and love toward us are a treasure!

Fun with the Blairs

Well things are going well at the Wilson household. We spent the weekend at the boat and the beach, and are both appropriately tan and a bit burned. It was very relaxing for us both. Everyone in our life group was out of town on Sunday except Colin (the lg leader) so we invited him over for Surf & Turf (steak and fresh shrimp from the coast). We then went on to have our study on the last week's message (Hebrews) and it was truly a great time. It's neat to see how sincere people in our church are in their lives. It's also great to see how fast friendships grow when God starts them. So... I spent Friday preparing for the beach and helping Carrie by watching her kids while she got her hair trimmed. We then went to a cool place called Willie's for lunch. We ate outside and they had a big sand box for the kids to play in. Little Emerson is so content, she just sat in the highchair, babbled and ate the whole time. Cute! Carrie had to be on the phone so I played Fight the Pirates in the sandbox with Adisyn and Parker. They were fun! Then we went to pick up their car from the shop. I was sorry to say good-bye. :( We'll have to do more things like that. I recently read on the GirlTalk blog that if I wanted to learn how to be a Godly mother like Titus 2 says I should "...look for women whose children are characterized by the fruit of self-control and obedience." Colin & Carrie's kids are. Plus Carrie & I have fun together. She reminds me of my dear friend Kristin. *sniff* I'm suppose to get my $1000 gift card in the mail this week or next. I can't wait! I'm going to buy a new comforter for the bunk beds at Target (already have one), and a $200 Starbucks card, and special big presents for friends that I've been holding off doing. :) It'll be fun. I can't wait to come visit my family for the July 4th weekend!!!!

Air Force Jets!

"Wide sky big breaks; Michigan, Great Lakes;
Cattle rattle, snowflakes, Georgia beaches.
Louisiana harpoon, New York attitude, Florida beaches.
Tennessee whiskey; Diddy, are you with me?
Texas chili, Virginia pine.
It's hard to beat that California sunshine.
Baby, you're my favorite,
Favorite state of mind."
-from "Favorite State of Mind"

May already and I really didn't update in April, how bad I have been! At least I can say, I've been very busy "living" to not have a lot of time to "document" it. But enought is enough and it's finally time to give this my attention. So, here's the current scoop:
My sisterMary spent her hard-earned money and visited for a week in April. It was the highlight of my month, and I did not expect to grieve like I did when she left. It was seriously some sort of depression to b left all alone again (during the day) and not have my friend to be doing stuff with! However, I learned to be joyful and content again and God already worked out my family to come visit in May during my birthday too! So I only had a month to wait! That was a tremendous blessing!
Jonathan and I had a large group of friends at our home for Easter, all unsaved friends we were opening up our home to share God's love with. It was a great time, and we continue to be excited about all the opportunities God has given us to daily interact with those who need Jesus. We pray & attempt to meet their physical needs like Jesus did so tha topportunity will open up to meet their spiritual needs when they become apparent, by demonstrating true love. We love being in a church that emphasises so strongly personal ministering to those in your sphere of influence. :)
Life Group at church is still wonderful! Our church had baptisms yesterday and 17 people were baptised! It was special to watch those in their 30's all the way down to 9 year olds. We had a nice picnic and had lots of fun fellowshipping and playing with all the kids!
Jonathan and I had all Friday to hear briefs from crews of all the aircraft he can go to, as well as to actually walk on the aircraft and see exactly what it looks like (all but the B-52, since the runway's not big enough at Randolph). It was extremely enlightening, ang I got to sit in the cockpit of one of these (F-15E Eagle):


Makes me understand why Jonathan would want that more than an y other! However, it's not an option, they must have just had it there for fun. :) With all the wisdom we have, he's leaning toward B-52's (Bombers) or KC-135's (air refulers).
Heres's a B-52 Bomber

Here's a KC-135 refueling:

So maybe you don't think all these pics are cool, but they are to me!!!
Now, May should be a busy month, too. Jonathan's siblings (sans Emily) will be coming to visit for 6 days and then 4 days later my family comes for a week! So we'll have wonderful times and a full house in May! That is extremely exiciting!
Have I mentioned that I love the United States? I do. Just living different places makes me aware of how different God made even just one continent. He gave us beautiful mountains and the rolling hills of Virginia/NC with the kudzu and dogwoods and wonderful pines! He gave us the flat-straight land of Illinois with its acres of corn. He gave us the rugged, brown, full of live oaks and cactuses, mostly flat, dry area of Texas. I could name differences in every state, and that only covers one country! It's amaznig he's given Jonathan and me the opportunity to travel around and live all these different places! Just thinking about our next assignment stirs excitement in me for what it will be like.
And this will have to end my thought for today. Sorry there aren't any personal pictures. I have blackmail pictures of Mary, Jonathan, and me line-dancing in ridiculous clothes, but I'll resist posting those. :) Ok here's on of Jonathan & little Emerson (our CG leader's youngest girl).

Have a blessed May everyone, and keep seeking Christ! I close with this:
"And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross." Colossians 2:13,14