Jace Ephriam's Birth Story!

Friday July8th

I was one day past my due date (but 4 days according to the midwife’s office). I had a non-stress test and amniotic fluid level check that morning, which that baby passed just great.

I went in at 2:00 for my appointment. All looked good, and I was told I could easily go to 41 weeks and they were not concerned, but would want another NST next week were that the case. Charlene (my midwife) told me she was going out of town midnight Tuesday. This would mean if I went into labor (or was still in labor) after that point, I would be delivering with Angela, the other office’s midwife. I felt concerned – I really liked Charlene and had never met Angela! While they spoke highly of her, I really did not want to deliver with someone I hadn’t met nor knew my birth preference (other than what I had on my birth plan). All the months of going to Charlene I did not want to see “wasted”. I was given a few options , from doing nothing to trying to jump-start labor with stripping my membranes to even trying some pitocin. While I wasn’t going the pitocin route, I was actually comfortable with having her strip my membranes and see if I was “ready.” Since stripping the membranes releases the prostaglandins, the same way “other” activities do, it will not start labor if your body isn’t ready. The evening before, I had half hour of 30-45 second contractions every 6 minutes from those attempts, but then they’d stopped. So I was confident this was not preemptive. (Also, let me say here I had been Group-B Strep positive, so my midwife had told me to plan to arrive at the hospital with at least 4 hours of labor, because they needed to administer 2 doses of IV antibiotics to me for the baby, and they had to be that far apart. I had laughed and told her there was no way I’d plan to cut it that close, that my expectation was to be there somewhere around 12 hours prior to birth.)

I left her office near 2:40 and went grocery shopping. It is a rare trip I’m without Elyana, so I was making the most of it and trying to stock up if the baby were going to come. While in the store, I had strong contractions, every 10 minutes and less than 30 seconds long. I did have to stop, breathe and concentrate through them, but then went happily on my way.

At home, they continued. We decided to go to the mall and Disney store once Elyana woke up. I was still having steady contractions, and I hoped this would be the night. In the mall, I had to give them attention, but they stayed about 10 minutes apart (not really sure, I wasn’t timing them so I wouldn’t be too absorbed with if they were getting closer or not). After about an hour, we went to eat (well, J and E did, I just had water). Jonathan, having learned from the first long labor, was trying to stock up his energy so he wouldn’t be too hungry.

Once we got home and got Elyana put to bed, while I lay on her bed all my contractions stopped – for almost 20 minutes! I had to stay sitting or standing to keep them going, but once I would lie down, they would stop. I tried running up and down the stairs to increase their intensity. I thought it was ironic that the main position the Bradley book tells you to labor in was not feasible. I was concerned the contractions would stop, and I really wanted to have the baby, so since my husband didn't want to “help” (haha), I decided to take a small dose of castor oil (1 TBSP) about now. (Hindsight, all that seemed to do was make contractions more intense, without speeding up anything.)

I started timing my contractions at 9pm. For that first hour, they averaged 45 seconds long, 5 minutes apart.  While I had to give them my attention and they were hard, I was still in doubt whether this would be “the night”. I labored best sitting on the couch on my knees or in the bath. The next hour (10 to 11) things ramped up in intensity and pain and my contractions averaged a minute long and 2:45 apart. Close to 11, I started a text to my family saying, “I think this is it, the baby probably will be born tomorrow (Saturday) afternoon.” But I did not hit “send” because there was still the niggling doubt that my labor would go close to 36 hours again, which in this case would mean nothing until Sunday early morning. I know when we told everyone the first time, they were very anxious to know what was going on, and Jonathan just continued having to send updates about how slow it all was. I guess I didn’t want to worry them. And I suppose, even when you’ve experienced labor already, you as a woman are prone to doubt yourself about when it’s REALLY time (especially if there has been prodromal labor).

For that next hour, from 11:30 to 12:30, I have huge gaps in my timing of the contractions – a 30 minute gap and a 20 minute gap… so that leaves only 10 minutes really timed. This was due to a lot of intensity and my inability to find a good way to labor without a lot of pain. These averaged 1 minute long, 2:13 apart. So, they were a good 30 seconds closer than the previous hour, but the same duration.  Understand, the application I downloaded on my iPhone to track these did not give averages. I only know now by exporting them to Excel. At the time, I would look and see some 45 seconds, some 1:15, and that’s what really caused me to doubt myself. I was reading the Bradley book on labor in between contractions and I had clearly read that contractions that weren’t longer than 45 seconds just were not effective in opening the cervix (dilation).  So this contributed to my lack of surety.

I labored a lot in the tub. I kept the water hot and would just drape myself over the edge. I got my clothes all wet and didn't care. I thougtht of all the things I needed to do (like put my daily makeup, and some more comfortable clothes in my hospital suitcase). I had much done ahead of time, but a few things had escaped me. I knew I could never make it upstairs and get it all done without having a few contractions, and I just did not want to have them take me by surprise. Somewhere here I did manage to grab what I could, and throw it on the couch downstairs. I told Jonathan he needed to get all that stuff when it was time. He encouraged me, but mostly he was just staying occupied but in very close proximity to me, as we both were really thought this was the beginning of a long ~24 hour event. I had wanted to look “pretty” going to the hospital, but at this point all I could do was wash my face and keep laboring - Hard.

Close to midnight, I started having occasional contractions that were 1:15 to 1:30 long. They were odd, because they were like two rolled into one. The wave of a contraction would start: a gripping of the uterine muscles that works its way tighter and tighter and then the loosening and gradual subsiding that occurs. But these would have the gradual subsiding eclipsed by an oncoming wave of a follow-up contraction! These were incredibly hard to manage concerning the intensity, because there was not a rest for my body.  I remember telling Jonathan how incredibly hard these were to endure.

From 12:30 to 1:30 I had 5 of these “double contractions”.  At this point, my labor was so intense, I was crying out very loudly at some of them (things like, “God, help me!”).  I told onathan a little after midnight that I felt this was serious and I needed to go – and I begging for his input. He told me he really didn’t think it was time. He felt it would be good if we could hold off until 5-6am, when Elyana got up, and we could take her to our friend Stacy’s house. I saw the wisdom in this, and thought, “If I can just make it until 6…” With Elyana’s birth, I told him I thought it was time, and he continued to tell me it wasn’t – and sure enough we went too early. So I was really trying to listen to him. After some of these double contractions, and how much pain I felt, I begged him not to even leave the room where I was.  I felt I needed him right there as I labored in the tub, and I needed him to do the timing for me, as pressing the iPhone’s timer once a contraction started was now too much distraction for the amount of intense concentration I needed. I was seeing bright red blood at this point, which I never ever had with Elyana. Honestly, it scared me. I didn’t know for sure what it was from. I wanted the safety and assurance of the hospital.

I went back on the couch maybe 1:00 am and told Jonathan I really thought this was time to go. He then suggested turning on music or watching something on tv. I was so angry and snapped at him, “If you think I’m at the point where I need distraction, that just shows how disconnected you are from what I’m feeling!” (Something like that.) I was really upset that he was not more in tune with the stage of labor I was in… my emotional signpost was SERIOUSNESS, not excitement.  I left to retreat to the bathroom, somehow just sure I’d have to labor this intensely, but I shouldn’t be here. In fact, soon afterward I reached the self-doubt and told Jonathan I couldn’t do this. In fact, from 1 to 2am, my contractions continued to be 1 minute long, but 1:50 apart.

At this point, Jonathan must have been watching me, and I was really, really struggling with the pain (yes, I’m using that word). I honestly felt overwhelmed with how very intense this all was – very unlike my experience with Elyana. At 2:19, which is my last timed contraction on my iPhone, Jonathan said, “We’re calling Stacy, it’s time to go.” I felt relief! Finally, finally. I told him, “And when we get there, I can get drugs. I can have something. Right?” I remember thinking it sounded silly, and almost that I just was asking so I didn’t feel like I didn’t have a choice. But I also know I felt like I was going to die if it got much worse. I felt so, so much pain. I think it may have taken Stacy 15 minutes to get to the house, and in that time Jonathan scurried around loading up the car. I pulled out the exercise ball to try to labor on, just for something different. It helped, some. Things were very serious – I was crying out a lot, and using all my might to grab onto things (like the couch, towel-bar rack, etc). Stacy came in, and I had been closing my eyes for each contraction for a while, and I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t even hold myself back (which with Elyana’s labor, I was in control the whole time)! I felt everything was greater than I was – the pressure, the unrelenting feeling of it all. I felt just barely in control at the peak of contractions. I snapped at Jonathan things like, “I want THIS pillow…” and at his grabbing the wrong one 2 times I was undaunted in my fervency.

We left for the hospital, only 10 minutes away. I opened my eyes what felt like 30 minutes into the drive and saw we were only halfway there. I was so discouraged. Laboring in the car, at this point, felt unbearable. When Jonathan pulled up, I wanted to scream at the idea that I’d have to either walk the whole way (and up one flight of stairs) or else take a wheelchair. Both seemed horrible. As we pulled under the awning, I told him, “I am feeling a pushing urge.” It was not a true I-Can’t-Not-Push  urge, but just feeling the urge let me know the seriousness of where I was in my labor. Even if I had the 3 hours of pushing like I did with Elyana, I would still see this baby before the sun came up!

The wheelchair ride was awful. The nurse taking me seemed to not care when I was contracting (“Get in, Get Out.”) I went to assessment and was commanded to put on a gown. I had cleared it ahead of time that I could labor in my own clothes, and this first “bump” was aggravating to say that least! And in the midst of such serious contractions, the last thing I needed was to worry about undressing/dressing and fighting some nurses! I refused and rolled my eyes at them – and then finally agreeing very begrudgingly. I was so irritated but just wanted to get out of there! Sure enough, I was 7 cm. They were asking all kinds of horribly annoying and ridiculous questions. Jonathan blanked on the name of my midwife!! I walked to my room, which was only across the way, but it was a horrible walk, and I stopped just feet from the bed with a contraction. I didn’t care that I was contracting on the floor, but the nurse seemed jolly-well-unhappy with it, and intent on getting me in the bed ASAP. I knew I’d need the penicillin in the IV, but then could walk around. The nurses couldn’t understand that I had permission from my midwife to just get the IV for that, and then not be hooked up to it for fluids or anything. I was  so irritated they were so confused. I couldn’t wait for Charlene to come. At this point they also asked Jonathan for my papers from my midwife. They were in the car. I panicked at his leaving me, as he’d been holding my hand at my side since we arrived. I felt he was the ONLY one protecting me and looking out for me, since Charlene wasn’t there yet. It was a very vulnerable feeling, because being in the deepest intensity of the contractions, I had no idea what was really happening around me, nor much of a voice to use. He reassured me he’d fly.

They called my midwife at 3:09. I’d probably been there 10 minutes. Angela, the midwife from my office that was on-call, came over and started to coach me through breathing through these hard contractions. She told me to look at her and instructed my breathing. Just having to focus on her face and my breathing helped those next few contractions. Jonathan took over her place, and I was clawing into him and grabbing him. He said, “Don’t use your nails” and I said, “If I can stand this, you can stand a little scratching!” (To be fair, there was blood being drawn as well. He did suffer.) I was incredibly vocal and aggressive (in my opinion). This was drastically different than my labor with Elyana. I had been calm and controlled the whole 35 hours and here I felt unable to restrain my tone of voice or aggression. I felt like I writhed with each contraction. A nurse was placing the monitors on my belly during a contraction, and I roughly said, “You’re hurting me!” to which she said it wasn’t her it was the contraction. (Not appreciated at the time.)

Thankfully, Charlene arrived soon; her presence was most welcome and reassuring. She checked me and I was a 9. I told her I felt I needed to push and she told me to hold off for another 5 minutes to get the last of the IV in me. I knew I could. After that, with the impending birth obviously not 4 hours away, I was fully dilated and she asked if I wanted my water broken – and at this point I was ready to get the contractions done and the baby out! She told me it could help with some of the pressure I was experiencing and perhaps speed along baby’s entrance. I readily agreed. It was a relief!

Then began the pushing. Sure enough, like my first time, I would start a strong push, but then fight the follow-through. While in the 45 degree position, I was using my feet to push down to bear the pain – basically thwarting my true pushing progress. I knew this, I felt this. So I got into a full squat on the bed position (bless Charlene for telling me I could do what I wanted!). This at least helped me truly push, but it seemed more painful, so I reverted to the 45 degree sit/lay. Charlene pointed out how I was pushing with my feet, and that it was putting me out of reach of her and not helping. I begged for guidance and this is the only part I felt I wish she’d been more instructive on, because I don’t think she said much except not to use my feet.

It finally got to the point of a contraction that I pushed hard enough that the baby’s head must have been crowning – because I got what’s called the “Eject Reflex”. This was the most revealing and surprising thing about my whole labor. I didn’t know what I should do, but I was too involved to even ask. I knew my pushing contraction was over, but the eject reflex basically makes you want to push out whatever is causing such discomfort. I did not experience this my first time, and I didn’t know whether I should trust this and just respond, or if I needed to wait as much as possible until my next contraction. I just went with what was natural – which was to “get it out”. I cried out, “Charlene, help me!” to which she said, “You have to do this yourself, I need your help.” (or something like that) As basic as it sounded, having her tell me I was in control was exactly what I required. I think since I reverted to vacuum assistance with Elyana’s birth, I had residual ideas of an inability to do this on my own. How I needed her words!

So, I pushed through, and asked, “is the baby crowning” to which I got a YES. I was surprised I hadn’t been given more “progress” stats, feeling like that would have encouraged me. (Side note: I’d wanted to deliver with a mirror, and just forgot to ask, but I don’t know how I’d have seen it since the midwife was right where it would go.) Jonathan was still at my right side, coaching and encouraging. I talked to him and leaned heavily on him physically through every contraction and push. He was so excited and encouraging – exactly what I needed to see in order to continue with energy. It's exactly what the Bradley book tells the coach to do - to be very careful to be encouraging and eager with their words/face so that the laboring woman can see through what she is feeling to how close she really is (in the big picture).

As I got the “eject reflex” and pushed through it, I pushed and pushed and I knew “this is it”. You get a knowing that there is no turning back, your body feels it. But the difficult part is not knowing how long you’ll be in that state, or how painful it will be. I could feel the stretching and a bit of tearing (very tiny) but I just kept pushing, but I screamed. Yes, I did. I’m horrified now. It wasn’t bloodcurdling, but I was so controlled and polite and “normal” through my first delivery, I didn’t even recognize myself at this point (ok, Jonathan says it was bloodcurdling). With only maybe 10 minutes pushing (I have no idea), I finally pushed my beautiful son’s body out: oh the relief! That’s the most amazing thing: the intensity, the violence if you will, the pain, it’s all over and there in front of you is a human being! I cannot describe the emotion. Overwhelming. It was 3:55. I’d been there maybe an hour. Wow. (With Elyana, I was there 19 hours.)

The cord was cut, my son wiped and swaddled and placed on me. I held my son. Jace Ephraim. I loved him, but I was exhausted. I handed him to his daddy after a few minutes, as they were delivering the placenta and that had some pain accompanying it. When I got our son back, I tried to get him to nurse, but he was not very interested (unlike Elyana!). Jonathan accompanied him to get his vitamin K shot and vitals taken. I will say I felt strange, I was ashamed at how I’d lost my controlled self. I apologized many times, because I just felt the person who came in just an hour before was not me. I was disappointed in myself. I also felt dumbstruck that this was “over.” Mentally and emotionally I was not prepared to be done with labor. It was a hard thing to grasp. I felt sad actually at the overarching hospital experience (the labor at home was fine). I was overjoyed to have my son here, but it just took time for my emotions to catch up. I also said, “I never want to do this again!” whereas with Elyana, as soon as she was out, I told Jonathan I would love to birth more children! I also learned that I would have to stay 2 days automatically since the baby did not get 2 doses of antibiotic. This contributed a lot to my feelings of having not done well – I felt I’d failed the baby by not coming soon enough. My midwife visited with me for what felt like 30 minutes (I don’t know how long), and talking to her helped some, as I shared how conflicted I was feeling. Charlene offered a lot of encouragement and told me there wasn’t any way I’d have come that early (sure enough, thinking back to 11pm, I wasn’t even sure the labor was here to stay).

Jonathan stayed with me for a few hours, sleeping in the bed next to me, and I slept a little off and on. A little sleep, nursing and holding my precious baby, and getting a shower turned everything around. In just a few hours, I had dealt with those feelings and was enjoying my son and what I’d accomplished to bring him in! I was ready to say, “I can do this again and I want to.” I was seeing the beauty of his labor in its own light, no matter how it surprised me. I was elated at his life! I had my little Elyana visit me and having all 4 of us together was a very sweet time. Welcome to the world, my Beloved, Precious Jace Ephraim! I delight in your life and your arrival.

!Break! - Elyana Ruth's LONG Birth Story

I know this is about 19 months overdue in its long form, but my dear friend Lisi posted an awesome article on why (unmedicated) women don't need to wait until they're dilated to a 10 until they push. I commented on it over on Facebook, and I realized my birth story in its full form was never published. For what it's worth, if you have 10 minutes and a lovely cup of hot tea or coffee, curl up and enjoy the listen. It's riveting, to me, and I adore telling the story. :) I don't know why I did not publish it on here before when I had it typed up already! 

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Elyana Ruth Birth Story

Sunday, January 18^th I was woken up at 5:30am out of a slumber to some intense pains. I realized these as contractions. After having the day of contractions on Friday the 9^th, I wasn’t ready to say “This is it.” But I did feel that maybe it would turn into the events leading up to her birth.

I got in the bath to try to alleviate the pains, and I figured it could be my last good chance to get clean before the birth, if this was my labor beginning. I took my time, thinking maybe we’d even be able to go to church. They were over 5 minutes apart, lasting about 30 seconds long. Long enough to keep me from trying to sleep anymore! I painted my toenails and fingernails too – figuring it’d be nice to have them pretty!

Jonathan got up at 7 when the alarm rang. I told him what was up, and he was excited, but cautious as I was. We went to have breakfast together after his shower, and chill on the couches while I went through contractions (this was, by choice, the last I ate until after Elyana was born). About 8:15 I told him I didn’t think I should go to church, as the contractions were intense enough I figured I’d make a scene sitting there. So we decided to have our own quiet time together. Jonathan read from the first 8 verses of the Sermon on the Mount, and we talked about them. He prayed, then I did, but I didn’t make it very far before a contraction hit and I had to stop.

We wanted to run to Sam’s Club in Macon to buy the flooring for the sunroom. I figured it was a good idea, because it would burn a few hours. We left around 10 or 11 and went there. I was quite the site: I had to squat down in the aisles or outside and breathe through my contractions! Jonathan asked if I wanted to go anywhere else, and I figured Starbucks was a good choice, because I could get an Izze juice and again, kill some time. We played checkers together in there and sat on comfy chairs, and it was a really nice time together. (I won!) But that’s all I could take. We got home near noon, thinking we had an hour until the Eagles vs Cardinals game. Unfortunately, it wasn’t on until 3, and I don’t remember much of what happened until then. I took a bath and the contractions were definitely strong and intense, but nothing was convincing enough to go to the hospital. I learned from Jonathan that the Sunday “girls night out” at Life Group was suppose to be a surprise baby shower for me! I called Kristy and talked some, she was very understanding and encouraging.

I watched the game some, with the electric blanket on me that helped some. I tried standing, squatting, laying down for contractions, but never really found one perfect way to handle them. Jonathan would see me have one, and coach me with relaxing and breathing. I tended to want to hold my breath through them, so I needed the reminder. I never really felt that the relaxing the Bradley book talks about so much could be done, especially since lying through contractions hurt a lot. But I do know that not tensing up was good. I did a little visualization, but did not need that as much. I was in and out of the bath all afternoon. The warm water did help.

We took a walk out back around 5 for maybe 30-45 minutes. It was pretty uncomfortable, walking so much over uneven terrain, but again a good change of scenery. No one tells you that labor can be so boring. Especially at the beginning, the contractions are so far apart, that all you have to do between them is wait!

After that, back inside there was more waiting and contracting. I did a little laundry, we tidied up the house some, and we debated on whether it was time to go in. This was so hard! I wanted to go in, to hear how dilated I was and how the baby was doing. But I knew it was a commitment to drive 30 minutes and maybe not be ready. A few times I told Jonathan I think I was ready, and he wasn’t sure, thought we should wait. I knew he was probably right, but I was frustrated just staying at home. I guess I was thinking if we went to the hospital and acted like this was serious, it would be (silly, I know). By 8:15ish we did decide to go in. We loaded the car up and headed out. We’d been timing them for ½ an hour, and they were coming around every 3 minutes lasting 65-75 seconds long. But just as we left the house, I had 5 minutes go between contractions! It was maddening! Jonathan said it wasn’t time, and suggested we head to Sonic instead. I agreed, and was discouraged, but glad for a change of pace. We pulled in, and while sitting there, I had 3 contractions all less than 2 minutes apart, lasting about 65 seconds long. It was time to go I guess!

We headed to Macon; I don’t remember the drive much at all. Sitting like that was so uncomfortable! Jonathan almost missed our exit. I rested/closed my eyes often between contractions. I do remember checking into OB assessment and being in a lot of pain while waiting for a room and trying to fill out paperwork! I recall scribbling my name, almost just putting an “x” down for brevity! I had been leaking a little, what I hoped was my water. They checked me for that, but it wasn’t amniotic fluid. They put me on a monitor for a while (20 minutes? 30?) and saw the contractions, and checked me for dilation (they said I was a 5, but could stretch to a 6), and agreed I should be checked in. We got a L&D room about 20 minutes after that.

The room was big enough and seemed just fine. A doctor was on call who I didn’t know. They said they’d try calling Jeri (my midwife), but I didn’t expect her to answer (she didn’t), knowing she’d taken all MLK weekend off. I showed the nurse my birth plan, and she said it looked like they could accommodate it. I got on my grey Victoria’s Secret sleep-shirt to labor in, and was glad it was so comfy, but I was cold in there! The whole night was very long. My contractions were too close together and painful to sleep through, though Jonathan was very attentive. We got the hang of contracting and I did not need much coaching during the night. Jonathan had Dirty Jobs, Beverley Hillbillies, South Park and various other programs on. While I wasn’t interested in them, the alternative (silence and him being totally bored) wasn’t attractive either. (I would plan better next time!) I tried to nap (sitting upright) for the 60-90 seconds between contractions, and he tried to get cat-naps on the couch. It was hard feeling so behind on sleep from the early morning. I would go on the fetal monitors 20 minutes on, one hour off. Baby Girl was fine. They put a hep-loc on my right hand in case I needed it for IV, and that was definitely a discomfort I wish I hadn’t had. They agreed I could stay hydrated myself, instead of an IV, which was wonderful! (Not sure I could have effectively labored with an IV!!!) I sipped water all night. The monitoring got more and more of an extreme discomfort, because I had to stay lying/sitting in bed at somewhat of an angle (about 45 degrees). The contractions were best handled squatting, sitting upright on my legs, or standing, but not laying down!

I also will say, that since Jonathan woke up that morning, in my opinion, Jonathan and I were now working together as a wholly unified team. My contractions were more intense, I was weary, and I was saying things to him like, “Maybe I do just need to get some oral/systemic pain relief, I’m so tired, and this is taking so long.” I even asked him if maybe we should just go home, since this wasn’t going anywhere (I had been checked sometime in the night and had only dilated a centimeter.) Jonathan would remind me why I wanted an unmedicated birth (for the baby’s sake and mine), and he would remind me I was speaking out of weariness and would not want him to give in. I remember him saying, “We’re not going to discuss this while you’re contracting.” So wise. He encouraged me that I was doing well, and the baby was good, and she was getting here. He was strong when I was not!

Early that morning, a new nurse came on call, who I just loved. Audrey had attended unmedicated births before, and was very happy to be with me. She was a cheerful face. The night nurse was fine, but all she did was monitor me for 20 minutes, and leave, so I didn’t mind seeing her go. Audrey would ask what I needed (I’d tell her nothing) and suggest things like, “Would you like a rag for your face? Would you like more ice in your water?” It helped so much not to have to direct anyone or think of anything! They would check on me what seemed like every half hour, and then monitor baby and me for 20 minutes on, one hour off. They really respected the privacy and little serene “place” Jonathan and I had. They would quietly ask how I was, and then leave when we told them we were fine. Jonathan was by my side most every contraction; I was physically leaning on him at times. He was working with me. When anyone would come in the room, I would immediately feel self-conscious about really “feeling” my contractions and working with them. I felt like they were cut-short of “working” several times when someone would enter the room, or be present, during a contraction. I truly felt like I could only “be myself” and really work through them with only Jonathan present. He is, after all, My Self, My Half, My Soul-Mate. I felt like we had an oasis of Togetherness - just Us – that was almost seen or understood by the nurses. I felt she would peek her head in, ask if I was ok, and quietly retreat, leaving us in charge. I really appreciate this.

Another doctor (Dr. Durso, from my practice) came on call around 7 or 8am and came by to see me. He checked and said I was dilated 7cm maybe 8. So since checking in until now (about 11 hours), knowing I had only dilated 2 cm was a bit discouraging. The doctor was positive about my progress, said he was going to go do a c-section, and he’d check on me after it. I think it was at this point I turned to Jonathan and said, “I’m a Putterer, just like the Bradley book says (Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way). That’s me.” (Little did I know my local good friend and natural childbirth advocate Kristy was saying the same thing to her husband as she got texts of my progress.)

I labored, he came by again, he did another c-section, came by in another hour. Said I was an 8, maybe 9. Thought I’d be ready after his next c-section. Around 12 I felt the urge to push. I didn’t know if I was fully dilated yet, so I knew I shouldn’t push. But it is a very hard urge to not give in to! I told Jonathan, and when the nurses came by, told them. They said to try not to push until the doctor checked if I was ready. He came by maybe 12:30 and said I was ready to push (so dilated to a 10 I guess, I never heard those words and I still wonder about it!). At this point, my water hadn’t broken, and all morning he’d been asking if I wanted it broken. I was tired, and asked if it would speed things up. He said it could, and I was pretty tired from 31 hours of contractions, so I was all up for it. He broke my water, and honestly it was like a relief! It was as if a pressure was taken off. He then told me he’d go do a c-section, and check back. At this point, they wanted me monitored continually. That seemed ok for the pushing, since I’d been pushing in a squatting position sitting on the bed anyway, and I wanted to know the baby was ok. I pushed for about an hour. Jonathan told me I was fighting the pushing. I know I was. It was really painful, and a hard muscle-sensation to master. I also had read many women like to vocalize during pushing, so Jonathan tried to coach me to do a low growl/moan, but that just felt put-on and did not feel like it helped. I also was having maybe 30 second pushing contractions, and around 15 seconds in, I’d just stop pushing and writhe around. In other words, I wasn’t letting them work much. The baby’s station had been a -1 when I started pushing. In the meantime the nurses had been coaching me a little, but they hadn’t stated that’s what they were doing, so I was just oblivious to them during pushing. They did think I was close, so they set up the whole “sterile” area/table with all the birthing instruments, gowns, etc, for them and the doctor.

Around 1:30 or 2:00 the doctor showed up with his game face on! Let me just say, he was all dressed up with no place to go! They had me at a 45 degree laying angle (not great for pushing). He watched me push for a bit, and then told me that he could try using the vacuum to get the baby out while I pushed, since it was taking so long and I seemed to be struggling (his view, implied). I was tired and wanted help at this point, so I agreed. I was definitely NOT ready, because when he just tried to get the vacuum in, while I was contracting, and nearly backed up off the bed, it hurt so much. I think I said something like, “I can’t. Stop!” He was ticked off.  He then (irritated) told me that some babies are too big to come out, and this could be the case. (Even though, ironically, just 3 days before, the doctors were trying to use the fact that the ultrasound showed her small and I was measuring 4 weeks behind to tell me I should induce soon! *rolls eyes*) I told him, “I just think I need more time.” He challenged, “How much?” I did not answer, because I did not want the clock to be used against me, and I just did not know what my body would need! He said, “You can’t just hope this baby out!” He said I was fighting the pain and now the baby was in a 0 station (so she’d regressed). He said that to take the pain away, they could give me something, but that then it could numb me so much I might need pitocin to ramp up the contractions. Then, if that made things get out of control, I might just need a c-section. Jonathan and I looked at each other, dumbfounded. Why were we talking about such drastic measures? I felt a bit cornered, but I knew anything he said wasn’t what I wanted. I felt he was frustrated with me, even though I was just handing things they way I could, NOT his way! Jonathan asked him, “Is the baby in trouble or distress?” He said, “Oh no, she’s doing great. The contractions aren’t bothering her one bit.” Jonathan said, “Well, I’m a pilot, and when you’re flying you don’t talk about implementing emergency procedures when there’s no emergency.” (something like that) He said, “We’re just going to keep on what we’ve been doing.” The doctor then turned heel and strided out, spitting over his shoulder to the nurses, “(Dr) Barnes is on call,”

We were glad to be rid of him!!! I then realized that I really did need to get serious about this pushing, and pleaded if the nurses could help me. Audrey (and a nurse with her who was learning) told me she could. She said she would count to 10 three times (convenient since my contractions were 30 seconds long), and that I should breathe in the first few seconds and then just push as intensely as I could until 10, then repeat, then repeat again until the contraction was over, and to just tell her when one was coming, and when it was over (so they wouldn’t keep counting if I was done). This was probably 2:45 (I have no idea really, perhaps 3:00). I was pushing in a squatting position on the bed. It worked very well, although I definitely felt like I’d push, and then as soon as the push was over, the baby would “slip back”. I knew I’d read that in the Bradley book, it was sometimes 1 step forward, 2 steps back. It just felt like if I could have a contraction, and really hold it, I would get her out. But I could feel that if I pushed beyond when a contraction had ended, it did nothing! I felt that. I knew I’d just need them close enough together, or the baby far enough down that I could not disengage the pushing, that the birth canal and her would take over and cause me to just push her out.

At some point (maybe 4:00) they called Dr. Barnes at the office and told him to head over, because I was giving birth. I heard him ask who was delivering, and not know who I was (haha). (I was Jeri’s patient, but the office did require you see the two OBs at least once during your prenatals. I’d seen him at least 4 times.) I guess, because of the earlier event, I did not think calling a doctor over was really a sure sign I was ready to deliver. He came over quickly, and recognized me. I was in maybe a 75 degree angle on the bed, it seemed ok. He chatted a little, and I pushed. I don’t remember what he said, but he did offer to use the vacuum, saying it could help. I really had begun to feel like I couldn’t just push her head out, and I was exhausted, so I agreed to this help. Fortunately, I was much readier than before, and he waited until her head was close to crowning (or crowning, I don’t know!), and put it on. I never felt it go on (again, so much different than earlier). I remember Audrey telling him I did not want an episiotomy, and I agreed out loud. I think they told me to try on the next contraction, so when it started, I just pushed with everything I me, I held the push and started to feel a baby (it felt huge) coming out of my body! It required a lot of sustaining that push, and at this point, the adrenaline took over and just feeling my baby come out and knowing This Was It. It all happened so fast. I remember Jonathan telling me, “I see her!” And then there she was. Our Elyana Ruth. 4:17pm. They handed her to me, just like I asked, and I held her while the cord was pulsing. I then was still contracting a bit, and handed her off to Jonathan, as I felt distracted. They cut the cord in a few minutes (after it stopped pulsing, just like I asked), and then the doctor gently tugged on the cord to get the placenta out. I had in my birth plan I didn’t want this, but at the time, I really just wanted it out. It felt like it was just in there, and I wanted to feel empty/relieved of it. It came out a few minutes later, and as I looked at it, I said, “Wow, gross!” The doctor laughed. I guess I just never realized how bloody it would be. I felt so happy and jovial; I was just talking away with him while Jonathan held the baby and they weighed her (7lb 13 oz) and did the APGAR. The doctor did tell me I had a 2^nd degree tear, and I said I was ok with that. He sewed me up, and I didn’t care about the tiny pain one bit!

Then, oh joy of joys, a few minutes after birth, Jonathan brought me little Elyana Ruth again! She was swaddled in a blanket, with a little hat on her head. She had big, beautiful eyes, was contentedly looking around, and she was mine! I was instantly in love. I brought her to me to breastfeed, and she latched on almost immediately. I just lay there, her in my arms, overwhelmed at the joy and love and preciousness of this life! I couldn’t believe it, her was my sweet baby, being comforted at my skin, being nourished by me. I was overwhelmed. She was maybe 10 minutes old, and the nurses told me they would want to take her to the nursery for the Vitamin K shot and a little observation under the heat lamps, around an hour old. So I nursed her for 20 minutes on each side, and just held that precious bundle. They came back in, and told me it had been an hour (it went so quick!). I asked couldn’t I it wait a little longer, but they said it was preferred now. I knew I just didn’t want her to leave me, but Jonathan took her and stayed with her the whole time, which was not long (15 minutes?). When I got her back, I held her for hours, and just wondered in amazement over our child. I was on a high the entire night, so exhilarated, not going to bed until 11pm (so 42 hours awake), with her right next to me, utterly taken with our baby. I was so in love! I held on to that day, basking in all we had worked for and been given. Our Elyana Ruth.

My Birth Plan & How It Went

So I know I said I'd post this, like, 5 months ago. *grins* But better late than never. With friends Carolyn and Emily thinking about their own plans, I decided I'd copy down what I printed and gave to the nurses at the hospital, and what I liked, didn't or would change next time.

Here's what I had gone over with Jonathan, and brought with me in triplicate to the hospital. My nurses had one in there, one was for J to reference, and they sent one to the nursery once she was born. Also, at J's suggestion I put asterisks by the items that were my "hills to die on" - i.e. items I did not want to budge on. Really good since a husband can be overwhelmed at the list. I also tried to keep my items as concise as possible (1 page total) in items/wording so that it would be easy for the nurses/doctors to reference. Highly recommend that format! Don't be wordy!
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Birth Plan

LABOR – I’d Like:
· My husband Jonathan to be allowed to stay with me at all times
· To wear my own clothes during labor and delivery
· To take pictures during labor and delivery
· To stay hydrated by drinking clear fluids instead of having an IV
· To walk and move around as I choose

As long as the baby and I are doing fine, I'd like:
· Intermittent rather than continuous electronic fetal monitoring
· To be allowed to progress free of stringent time limits (i.e. Failure to Progress)

When it's time to push, I'd like to:
· To be coached on when to push and for how long so the perineum can stretch (and perineal massage if offered)
· Whatever position feels right at the time (semi recline, side-lying, squatting, hands/knees)
· **To risk a tear rather than have an episiotomy**

PAIN RELIEF:

I'd like to try the following pain-management techniques:
· Bath/shower
· Massage
· I prefer Systemic medication to an epidural

C-SECTION:

If I have a c-section, I'd like:
· My partner present at all times during the operation
· The baby given to my partner as soon as it's dried (as long as it's in good health)
· To breastfeed my baby in the recovery room

POSTPARTUM:

Post-Delivery Care – I Prefer:
· Not to get Pitocin or pulling of cord to help deliver the placenta

Baby Care – I Want:
· All newborn procedures to take place in my or my husband’s presence
· To hold my baby right away, delaying any nursery procedures for an hour to give baby a chance to nurse (we will hold baby for APGAR)
· To breastfeed as soon as possible
· **To wait until the umbilical cord stops pulsating before it's clamped and cut**
· My partner to stay with the baby at all times if I can't be there
· Nothing offered to my baby at any point (formula, water, etc)
· **NO Hepatitis Vaccination for the baby**
· **No Silver Nitrate in baby’s eyes**/ Prefer No Antibiotic Ointment Drops in eyes
· Me to give the baby the first bath
· **24-hour rooming-in with my baby**

I plan to: Breastfeed exclusively
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Now, the nurses I ended up delivering with were amazing at making sure everything was followed. I even remember right before delivery the nurse telling the doctor, "She doesn't want an episotomy" and also her telling the doctor I didn't want pitocin for the placenta delivery. I wasn't always concentrated on what they were doing when I was in the throwes of a contraction.

Labor: The only part of this I would change would be to ask for no hep-loc. I could care less about it, except that it was a big hassle to have on my hand when I was trying to labor! Especially during the pushing stage, which was 3 hours for me, and I would grip Jonathan or the bed's rail, I hit that thing more times than I can count. When they finally took it out they said, "I doubt this would have worked, it's so badly pulled out/crooked now." So that's why I don't want it. I have no problem if it weren't such a hindrance/irritant to my whole labor process.

Pain relief: Ha, no massage or bath taken. Had baths been available I would have used it, but I didn't need to say that. Massage was not anything I wanted during labor.

Post-Delivery: Actually, the doctor did pull on the cord gently, and I noticed and didn't care. I was so relieved to have the baby out, and I could feel the pressure of the placenta in, that I just wanted it out. I did not care about the tugging. So I'd leave that out, but still not want pitocin.

That's it. Everything else went just as I asked for it. I was so happy about it!

One interesting thing I've noticed is that some books and friends talk about the birthing environment being one of peace, tranquility, and such. Some even talk about candles, soft lighting, and music. I have never though this sounded do-able for me, but now I don't know. I think maybe it would work with a home birth, but doing that in a hospital still wouldn't seem to change how I'd view it all. Not sure. Have any of you done this? Now, laboring at home like I did (15 hours) I could create my own environment. Jonathan and I watched football, I took multiple baths, we played chess at Starbucks, took a mile+ walk, used my heating blanket, and watched Expelled (got tired of all the concentration required by listening to it and laboring). I guess it seems like people want the environment to distract from labor contractions, whereas I wanted it for the boring in-between contraction stage. But when it got serious, at the hospital, all I wanted was some sleep or a mild distraction when I wasn't contracting.

Of course, every labor/delivery is different, so please give me your thoughts and experiences! I love talking about it and like to learn what I can from each person's story!

Baby Pictures!

Well, a little over 24 hours later an we're home!!! Elyana Ruth came into the world after 35 hours of labor, but naturally!!! She weighed (get this) 7lb 13oz, 20 and 3/4 inches long!!! Yes, after all the fuss on Friday about her being small and all that! Jonathan was amazing - I would not have continued on natural childbirth without his encouragement and clear-headedness at all the times I needed it! There were some awesome times where God really intervened. I cannot even begin to convey how much I believe the prayers that started after our appointment last week and that went on while we labored really were heard and answered. I am in the process of writing the birth story, which I will share on here.

I will give a sneak preview. My labor contractions started by waking me 5:30am on Sunday morning. I labored at home until about 8:30pm, when we headed to the hospital. There was never a "this is it" moment, or a surety we weren't going too early. But went we did. I was 4-5cm dialated, but with contractions 60-70 seconds long and ~3 minutes apart, so we did what we thought best. In retrospect it made the night very long and uncomfortable for Jonathan (at least at home he could have really slept in his own bed for a few hours!). I did not need heavy coaching during all that time, although he was coaching and helping me from the very beginning.

I was a classic "putterer" case, in Bradley-speak (realizing that myself, by Monday morning when I was only a 6-7cm dialated). My midwife had taken the weekend off entirely, and turned her cell phone off. I knew this was the case, and it did not matter because Jonathan was entirely what I needed. We had awesome nurses that were so so wonderful (another God-send), but they pretty much left us to labor ourselves as Jonathan had it well in control. By 12 I had the urge to push, and 12:50 started after the doctor came by and checked the baby and me. Let's just say after an hour and a half, the baby had moved further back! And the doctor started giving us a lecture on trying pitocin, possibly an epidural, and the moving to a c-section if those failed. He was ready to go and called me "failure to progress" (seroiously, after only 1 1/2 hours). He even told me "some babies are too big to come out this way, and have to be born c-section!" And after everything on Friday we'd just heard! Jonathan and I knew we should continue, as the baby had been doing awesome on the fetal monitor with every contraction.

Let's just say, an hour and a half later, Elyana Ruth came into the world! Another doctor delieverd (yay) and it was amazing! I'll give lots more details later, but I am undoubtably aware that God heard so many prayers and brought our daughter in the world safe and according to our desires!! We are so so overwhelmed with this little girl. She is precious and hardly cries at all and is just beautiful. Here are a few shots...