Life!

Karen kindly asked how things were.... I can't believe I haven't done an update in so long! We have been so busy here!

Life without Jonathan does move on. I miss him so much every day. In some ways, you just push through deployments every day, and occsionally allow yourself to peek, as a turtle out of its shell, at the time that's passed around you. It can be both encouraging and tough. Like now, I know we're over halfway... And yet it's not yet May 1st and we have the whole month of May to get through. So it feels like significant progress, and yet I know we've got a big chunk of time left to overcome. I look at Elyana and how much she's changed already, and wonder in another month how much she'll have grown and gone through to be like when her daddy comes home. She's so wonderful.

However, we have some really amazing friends in Warner Robins. I have been a part of a military wives' Bible study for a year and a half now. We go through either Christian authored books, or straight up books of the Bible with commentaries. We meet for 2 hours, switching homes each week, each taking turns to facilitate as well. We grew to about 15 ladies, and so this last book decided to switch from an evening Bible study to a morning and evening one. So we're a smaller group now. But finally this deployment especially these friendships have really solidified. I see these girls about 3 times a week!!! We love to do things together! Our acitvities have included: a game & wine & dessert night (with lots of laughing!!!), a make-a-meal for those in need, strawberry picking, Easter-egg hunt, May-day basket making, whole-family dinner/picnics, baby showers, and things like that. These women are really fun to be around, and they are all eager to live out Christ's commands as friends, wives, and mothers! I really I just am so grateful for their friendship. Since they're military, and have small children, we all have so much to share in commonality. For example, evenings can be lonely and hard for those of us with deployed spouses, so we'll do a dinner together at times. Usually getting together with your girlfriends for dinner is a once-every-few-months occasion. We practically do it bi-weekly! Anyway, they are amazing and have make this deployment 100% better than any before.

Jonathan and I celebrated 5 years of marriage this past Friday. 5 amazing years!!! I look back and cannot believe I've got to spend the last 5 years with such a wonderful man! I am so blessed with his love in my life. I am just so happy to be his wife! I hate being separated from him, and never want that to change. Each day we just pray to be done with the separations forever, and get to enjoy waking up every day next to each other. But until then, we'll just pray and grow as much as we can through this. And oh the reunion!!! I get giddy thinking about June! My sweet Jonathan sent me some gorgeous flowers for our anniversary, complete with a note about the meaning of the flowers, and how it applied to our love. *sighs happily* He is my love, forever!

Elyana is changing so much. For four days straight now, I have gotten her to laugh - for at least a minute - at me! Previously, she's laughed, but it would be days between them. Now it's pretty consistent. Her face lights up when she sees me come in the room to get her out of her crib (if she's not been crying/waiting long). I love that!!! The look of recognition and happiness upon seeing mommy - and I'm mommy!!! How very long I've waited for that beautiful face! She really enjoys when I lay down next to her, hold a book over our heads, and read to her. We've once again exhausted our books (I go through them every day and I'm tired of the same ones, I can recite them by heart!), so I ordered about 5 more (used) on Amazon.com today. This Saturday is a used book sale, and I'm eager to see what I can find. Our current favorites are The First Forest and On the Night You Were Born. She will now grab toys and fiddle with them. She finds her hands oh-so-yummy and sucks on them a lot. She constantly clasps her chubby little hands together and twists them around and around, which I love to watch! She also opens her little mouth expectantly like a bird when she sees it's nursing time! She's still happily on the 3-hour schedule (Wake, Eat, Play for 1.5 hr, Sleep 1.5 hr). She goes about 4-5 hours at night between feedings. I've put her in my bed 3 times to sleep since J left, and it has been so much fun! With Jonathan gone it's very lonely, and having her next to me has been so special. Of course, it's an indulgence for us, not a regular thing!

I'm surprised how much difference there is in a newborn/1-2 month old baby, and a 3+ month old like I have now (14 weeks yesterday). While I disagree completely with the rationale behind the Happiest Baby on the Block book (i.e. babies have a need for a 4th trimester, but evolution grew babies heads too big, so they come out 3 months too soon); I totally adopt the 5 S's. They worked for Elyana so well. She actually still is sawddled, has her white noise, and takes a pacifier for nap time. I've tried unswaddling, but her hands are still uncoordinated enough she will hit her face or knock the paci out. The paci she only likes to get to sleep, but she'll spit it out usually 30 minutes into her nap and sleep the remainder of the time. The white noise? Her room is right next to the kitchen, so it drowns out noise when I'm in there, but she will sleep at someone else's houses without it. I will be trying to wean her off of some of these things in the next month or two, but right now I still feel she has a legitimate need for them. :)

And that is a huge summary of what we have been up to lately. My brother Carter drove down from NC for his Easter break to be with us (he was the first uncle to meet Elyana)! My sister Mary flew into Altanta to spend a week with us (we went to Starbucks every day, and she graciously worked out with me every night so I didn't have to take any time off!). I had amazing times with them!!! I have a little over a week here, and then I head back to NC until Jonathan returns - I am so excited! This time will be my first drive with my little "buddy" in the car.
Ok, picture time!!!

She fits into some of the prettiest dresses now!


Elyana and me at Easter time!


Uncle Carter and Elyana


Aunt Mary and Elyana (Elyana adored her!)

Oxford

“Oxford had represented to us two things so intertwined that we did not clearly distinguish them. One was the apostolic faith in its fullness, as represented by C.S. Lewis and Charles Williams. The other was high civilisation, sweet reason, and the life of the mind, which was no less represented by Lewis and Williams as well as many others. Religiously, we longed for the lively life in Christ, but we did not fully see that we were equally longing for the lively life of the mind – the delights of conversation once serious and gay, which is, whatever its subject, Christ or poetry or history, the ultimately civilised thing. When we spoke of the lively life in Christ, we meant keenness, to be sure, but we also meant the subtle discourse on the meanings of Christ’s way that is, in fact, only possible among highly articulate and civilised Christians.” -ASM

This post is quite overdue, but I did not desire a hastily written, less than thoughtful response on my Oxford experience. In truth, I left the city with my mind desperately trying to grasp all of Oxford in its fulless, the entirety of the experience. I only wish I could have stayed longer, and had my dear husband there with me. Those are my only two real regrets. I hope one day I can live there for perhaps a year.

In attempting to complete my summary of Oxford, I am actually going to resort to a few quotes from Sheldon Vanauken's A Severe Mercy. He and his wife went, as agnostics in the 50's, to study at Oxford. There they encountered Christ and Christianity, and became followers. Van began a deep friendship with C.S. Lewis that continued to his death. Their experience has expressed much of mine, yet more poetically and articulately than I could. Later I will post fun and beautiful pictures, and some recounting of adventures, but I feel the Most Important thing I can do now is to express Oxford. It is not merely a city or a university, Oxford encompasses a way of life. The lively life in Christ.

“The sheer quality of the Christians we met at Oxford shattered our stereotype… Moreover the astonishing fact sank home: our own contemporaries could be at once highly intelligent, civilised, witty, fun to be with – and Christian.”
This couldn't express my own feelings any more. I attended a days worth of classes with Dad and heard each student (from their 20's to 60's) really thinking and producing ideas for creative apologetics, appealing to the unsaved through imagination (in the style of Lewis), graciousness in discussing faith, drawing people out for what they truly believe about eternity... Likewise, the Christians there so desire conversation, fellowship, and the discussing of ideas, that they meet each week, casually, at a pub to discuss whatever is on their minds. Each is free to come or go as they please, but honest and searching discourse is what follows. Hardly anyone agrees 100% with the other, but it's Truth (Biblically), that's sought. I did have to realize in America this wouldn't be quite the same. People in this program are coming from backgrounds in and out of the church, in the US, Canada, India, the UK, Iran, France, etc. They naturally have enormously different underlying ideas. Yet I loved the discussions! "…that’s what Oxford is, a place to talk about everything.” Even among my own family, each day's walks (for you walk everywhere) and each evening's gatherings were filled to the brim with earnest discussions. Not debates, and not everyone rousingly amening the other's opinion. No one is trying to "win" or "convert" the others, or to get a hearty clap on the back for a point well made. It's a chance to hear another Christian's thoughts and experiences, and to discuss what we know the Bible to say on a matter.

“For nearly two years… there was hardly a day or night that people did not come [to our home], both Christians and non-Christians; and there were literally hundreds of absorbing conversations. Oxford.”
“Although our Christian friends came often to the Studio, our non-Christian friends were, of course, equally welcome. Indeed, in some of the best discussions on Christian subjects, there would usually be a couple of non-Christians there, too, joining in with healthy skepticism. Our experience of Oxford was that everybody talked about everything.”

My heart yearns to take some of this back with me into my life here in the US. My mind ponders ways to incorporate it into our lives and those of other Christians here.... Thoughts are conceived, and perhaps shall give birth to a real outcome. Yet, I miss Oxford.

Fun News!

Monday night Jonathan and I headed out to go dove hunting. We had been out about 45 minutes. He'd shot some, so gave me the gun and we were on the lookout. We were walking side-by-side, the gun held by both my hands, him holding the bag of doves & water. He says to me, "Here, let me hold the gun, I want to hold your hand." Now, how many guys are that sweet and affectionate even while hunting???? I married the best and most thoughtful man in the world!!!
Speaking of, after some conversations, Jonathan told me he didn't want me to miss Oxford and he thought we should buy a ticket so I could be gone when he's gone! This allows me to be there when Crystal is in Oxford (she's spending October in France with good friends). So we bought a ticket for me at a good price (good for overseas)! I am super excited about going, and actually experiencing cold weather, too. Daddy told me he thinks I can go to a class or two with him!!!! Can you imagine??? A class at Oxford??? Me???? This might not seem a big deal to any of you, but it's absolutely a dream for me!
Other than that, we're heading out this weekend with some friends of ours in our church to their ranch. They work for Christian Outdoor Alliance (COA) and manage the ranch. Jonathan's going to help with deer-hunting related stuff, and he's also going to take me out so hopefully I can shoot an axis deer. If I do, I'll post pictures on Monday!

Daddy's Birthday

Yesterday was my dear Daddy's 56th birthday. I wasn't present, because we live far away, but also because he happens to be in Oxford, England. He will be there until the end of November. He is studying at the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics. He's in "an intensive 8 week programme is designed for those seeking to sharpen evangelistic and apologetic skills within the world of business, and includes input from renowned Christian business leaders." More information at http://www.theocea.org/ This is a program founded by the brilliant Ravi Zacharias.
Can you believe that? My own father studying at the college of C.S. Lewis, J.R.R Tolkien, Sheldon Vanauken, T.S. Elliot, so many more!!! The college of great thinkers, intellectual giants! I am awed, amazed, and unutterably proud. We all knew he would be accepted (as he gained acceptance into MIT, University of Chicago, and Harvard, years before), yet he never expressed confidence in it. He humbly admitted he might be accepted, but that it was in the Lord's hands. And he seems so mild and humbled to even be there, while all I want to do is shout with glee. His attitude is right, of course. It's why he is there, I'm sure. Because the Lord resists pride.
I am proud of where my dad is, but I'm so much more proud of Who he is. He hungers after the Lord and seeks Him diligently. This is an understatement. I can't tell you how many times I would rise at 5 or 6 and see the little light on in the den, with Daddy on his knees in prayer, or with his Bible and notebook open before him, or with his eyes closed and lips moving as he memorized whole books of the Bible... Knowing he may have been up since the 4's. He did this while most of us slept. And then he would exercise, then have breakfast with everyone at the table, and then lead us in a study of the Bible and prayer. He shepherded our hearts carefully. He gave us goals and spiritual challenges to work toward. But he set the example himself. How could you argue with his challenge to memorize the Sermon on the Mount (3 chapters) when he had the whole book of Romans down?
Daddy is gentle and kind. From as early as I can remember, he would try to bring gifts home from his trips, no matter how short. But with 8 children and a wife, this could be expensive. So sometimes he only brought 1 or 2 of us presents. He carefully explained that our time would come, and he walked us through recognizing jealousy in ourselves and repenting of it. I'm so grateful for those lessons! He sought opportunities to take each one of us on "special times" and trips with just him. I remember looking for houses in Chicago when I was 8, and him letting me eat ice cream in the new van, because he knew I'd be careful. I remember our first missions trip together. All our business trips as we worked alongside one another. How revered he was in the business world. How smart.
I love how he has sweet traditions. Camping after Thanksgiving, New Year's eve at Wellspring, Jo Patti Seafood in Pensacola, Chocolate on Valentines to all the girls (the best & biggest to Mom, of course)... I love the notes he left me throughout my growing up.
Daddy and Mom have more people than I could name who have come to them for counsel or help. This is because they see the fruit of godliness and peace in their lives. Dad and Mom make themselves available at all times for helping others. And they speak truth in love. Biblical truth. They are compassionate. I have seen Daddy do things in secret to bless or help others, wanting them to praise God and not man.
This is long, and I haven't even scratched the surface. Daddy is the funniest man I know (except now Jonathan is tied, I laugh at him all the time!)... Daddy is innovative, clever, prudent with money (and taught us all this), generous, wise, consistently loving. He's shared the Gospel openly, but also lived it in front of everyone. Many clients have seen him pray or read his Bible, in spare moments. Some have asked. I'll always treasure how he gave ma away on our wedding day, no reserves, no regrets, joyfully (and tearfully) in the Lord.
I'm preparing a letter for my father, and this is only a sample of my thoughts. I don't talk deeply about people dear to me on here much, mainly because I feel I should tell them and not everyone else. But I know Daddy doesn't read this and I just would like to honor who he is, as he's in a small 3-bedroom, 1 bathroom flat in Oxford right now. With 7 people and 1.86 dollars/pound.
I love my father so much. And so here's thinking of him on his birthday.