Well... we went in Wednesday for the 7 week appointment. I was scared the baby might not be alive. Afterall, I'd had two cramps the evening before, and cramps send me into panic mode.
Ah, but no.... I caught the little "flashing" on the screen. Baby measuring 7weeks 0days (exactly what it should be). Heart rate 140. Wow. Could we be this fortunate?
After the ultrasound I had to have the regular OB first timers visit. It was weird! Most of the conversation with the midwife was about the nuchal fold test & triple screen, delivery options, forming a birth plan, and how good I'd feel in the 2nd trimester. I kept sitting there, wanting to interrupt her, telling her it was too early to talk about this. That she should save her time until it's certain I get that far. I know, that's terrible. But I do not take even one day of this baby's life for granted that it'll go on. The conversation was just so unexpected. Even Jonathan agreed to how weird it was. We assumed with pregnancy #1 = baby. This time, no such assumptions. Every day a blessing, a milestone, an accomplishment, a relief.
I have to wait 4 weeks to go in again. Booooooooooo. Then they'll try to hear the heartbeat with the doppler. If they don't get it, we'll do an ultrasound. She did tell me if I started to get too worried/paniced, they'd gladly have me come in earlier to do an ultrasound. It's reassuring I have her blessing on that, because I honestly can't see waiting a month and not going crazy.
And lastly.... just a little remembrance. Without any difference than any other day, June 3rd came and went. Our first baby's due date. That thought is sad, but being pregnant right now at least gives me a new perspective and some hope for anothe child. I try to focus on the possibilities ahead of me, while remembering what we've been through to get here. I miss that child not being in our life right now, but I am grateful to have renewed hope beating away inside me. I'm grateful God has given us Life for now. So very very grateful.
6 comments:
Denise- I can't express how excited I am for you. I'm praying for you and baby often. Love you.
Oh, Denise, I cannot tell you how happy I am for you with this news. I was wondering when we would hear news about IVF #2. I know there are lots of battles ahead still with trusting the Lord...please know that you are on my thoughts and in my prayers very often. Praying for this wee one, too. I love you!
Yay! More good news :) Think about taking something to record the baby's hb next visit. It was such a comfort to me to have that on my mp3 player during the "worried days"....
so excited fro you two!!!! i have been wondering for the last few weeks if you were indeed pregnant but decided to wait to ask you....just praying. then kristin told me last weekend!!!!!!!please continue to blog through this amazing journey! i love to hear your fears, joys and what you might think would be ''boring'' pregnancy stuff:)
God is SO good!!!
I'm so glad I have FACEBOOK, since at least there I can see pictures of Littlebits! : ) I'm soooo excited for you, Denise!
Denise~I was so excited to check in with your blog again after a long time and read your exciting news. I just prayed for you and your little one and will continue to do so. I appreciate your attitude of every day being a gift. Reading your thoughts and prayers for your yet-unnamed little one reminds of those precious times that I desperately trusted God for the health of my children when I couldn't do anything to protect them... and I am reminded that even now I have to have that same heart of surrender to their Creator who loves them even more than I do and holds every breath they take in his hands. thank you for your honesty and grace in sharing your heart. it was a blessing to me to read that today.
Post a Comment