Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Unasked Question

I know that as Elyana is growing older, more people will begin to wonder or ask outright a question about her sibling status.

If I'm feeling humorous, I'll wryly grin and say, "Well, she's got two siblings already, frozen in San Antonio." But depending on the recipient of the answer, that can come off as callous, which it's not at all intended.

Basically, though, many of my friends try to keep their children's age at a 2 and 3 year span apart. It's natural to wonder when and if we might want another.

The short answer? Of course we want more children!!!

The long answer is, how to get there. Honestly, in our minds, we have to plan as if each pregnancy must be proceeded with plans for IVF. We will do everything in our power to conceive naturally, but it's not expected to work in our minds. Therefore, there's not much disappointment to handle if it doesn't occur naturally. We make plans for when we should travel back to San Antonio, we set aside money for the cost. We consider how the whole IVF process will affect Elyana, knowing we need her to be old enough to handle my being away for all those appointments.

Having Elyana has taken away the pain of infertility. So even though we want more, it is not the same magnitude of an issues in my heart about whether that will occur of not. We've prayed about adoption and talked about our desire to adopt, so we know we could pursue a larger family if IVF were to not work again. Although we dearly desire it to work.

Our general plans are to try IVF next year. Honestly, I look at Elyana, I enjoy my days with her so much, and I don't find myself longing for another. I love each stage with her. I love spending time every day teaching and training and playing with her. So while I want it, I'm not aching for it. A sibling will change my relationship with her, and will cause her to grow up in many ways. I don't want to intentionally pursue dividing my attention with another child before I feel ready. Many families don't have this option to even consider. But since conceiving is so hard for us, we really can be thoughtful and mindful about it. So I will be grateful for the pause I have to consider.

I guess that's it. Nothing concrete, but I did want to catch you all up on where my/our thoughts are on the issue. Looking at newborn pictures turns my heart, but greeting my little cheerful girl who stands up in her crib and asks to snuggle on our bed does as well!!!


Lindsay said...

I've definitely wondered:) And I am glad to know Elyana fulfills those longings so well. That is truly a gift.
I can't wait to see you with other babies either:) You have such a gift for mothering. So I do look forward to seeing how God is going to grow your family, if he chooses to!

kamb said...

everything about this sounds WONDERFUL! God has blessed you both with hearts and minds centered on your calling and enjoying what you have right now in front of you. Thanks for sharing:)