"O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor? Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen." Romans 11:33-26
Although many of you have already been told through the phone, I wanted the chance to write an official notice.
It's so hard to realize that after 26 months we have finally achieved what we have so prayed and longed for. Honestly, my feelings upon this realization are, "I don't deserve this." Because I simply don't. To have our (& your) prayers answered finally in the way we have hoped - this is a grace of God that is joyful to receive. Sunday, as we drove down to the game, we were both pretty discouraged at not having received any hint of a positive test. I was discouraged, thinking this IVF cycle would turn out like all our other attempts (natural or medical). I wasn't surprised in my heart, and I was already readying myself to be a "Multiple IVF'er." I know plenty of ladies who have gone through multiple IVFs. I thought how fortunate those ladies are who achieve pregnancy on their 1st IVF. At that point, I just didn't think I would be a part of that group. And I had the thought that I didn't really feel like I deserved all this trouble to achieve something that comes so easy to most of the population. I didn't feel like I deserved God's further pruning and I don't feel like I deserve his grace via answered prayer.
And yet, He has chosen, for now, to give us our so longed for pregnancy! Yes!!! Monday I had the faintest hint of a positive pregnancy test (Tuesday and Wednesday also). Finally, at my quantitative beta HCG blood draw today, it was confirmed with a level of 56.4!
We are SO HAPPY. I am grateful beyond words at God's answered prayer!!! I have a hard time believeing this is happening to me. That its real. I don't think I really every saw myself being here.
I do get another HCG blood test on Friday, as this level should double approx every 48 hours. If it does, I get an early ultrasound at 6-8 weeks. It it did not, that would indicate a problem, such as an ectopic pregnancy. The chances of this are higher with IVF, so we still covet your prayers!
I feel with all the heartbreak there's been with recent situations I can't disclose, this is God's way of giving some glimmers of sweet hope for answered prayer.
"His mission is to make us trophies of his grace. Never consider it a sign of God’s favor when you regularly find yourself feasting on perennial abundance, soaking up constant fun and sun, and cruising along those carefree boulevards where pain and suffering are perfect strangers. Godliness does not blossom on playgrounds; it flourishes in war zones. If we don’t get worked over and melted down by adversity now and then, it doesn’t mean God is blessing us; it more likely means he is disowning us (Hebrews 12:5-10)."
For now, I am 4 weeks, 1 day Pregnant! Due date is June 3, 2008. Rejoice with us you who have labored long in prayer with us!!!!!